An Ache I Still Remember
by poeticgrace
Summary: Rachel Berry had the world at her feet until a proposal changed everything. Now, she has to figure out how to plan for a future she always wanted but never expected with the help of one mohawked Noah Puckerman. Puckleberry.
1. So Happy You Could Die

At eighteen years old, Rachel Berry had the world at her feet. She had every reason to be happy, all those seemingly important things teenaged girls dream of in order to feel like their life is complete. It hadn't always been like for her though, not by a long shot. She had waited a long time to get there and had fought actively to overcome strife and adversity. She could have so easily given up a million times, but all of her hard work perseverance had paid off. Rachel was finally living the life she had always wanted to lead.

Looking back, it had all started with the Glee Club. They were just a band of misfits when they came together during her sophomore year, the social outcasts that the rest of the school had either forgotten or overlooked. However, they had known that they were special, and it was that knowledge alone that had driven them to fight. Artie, Mercedes, Tina and Kurt had all been there in the beginning, and even if they weren't really her friends back then, they had belonged to each other in a way. A couple years removed from that lonely time in her life, Rachel could appreciate what they had meant to each other when they hadn't really mattered to anyone else.

It wasn't until Finn came along that their club really got its feet. Beautiful, wonderful, amazing Finn had changed everything when Mr. Schuester had overheard him singing soft rock in the boys' locker room. A little coercion had led to their first duet and the beginning of her really falling in love with him. Luckily for her, he would eventually fall in love back and convince a few of his friends to follow him into the sparkly world of high school show choirs. Thing hadn't really been as seamless as they seemed now, but she didn't like to think about those darker days before Finchel. She wanted to pretend they were inconsequential, even if she wasn't entirely sure that they were behind them altogether.

Two years later, she had been with Finn for a solid six months after he had kissed her beneath the warm spotlight on a New York stage in front of all their families and friends. He had sung to her the most perfect song and professed his love, and Rachel had lost that last little ounce of nagging doubt in her heart that wondered if he really meant it. Their summer had been wonderful and early fall had been kind to their relationship. Quinn really seemed to be moving on this time and she had gotten early acceptance to NYADA after her first audition had been flawless.

So it was safe to say that Rachel was really happy when she woke up for her traditional workout routine early on Thursday morning. She went through the motions of her elliptical workout, a cleansing shower, healthy breakfast and warm conversation with her fathers while she waited for Finn to pick her up. He was wearing the blue polo she liked when she kissed him hello in his car and they arrived at McKinley just in time to walk inside with Blaine and Kurt. She aced a history test that morning and was excited when the cafeteria had her favorite tropical fruit salad at lunch. Glee was amazing that afternoon, with their early setlist for sectionals really starting to come together.

It was all ordinary really, but then she got a text message from her ballet instructor telling her that class had been cancelled due to illness. It was the first chink in the chain of throwing off Rachel's entire world. She didn't see it at the time though. Instead, she opted to see if Finn wanted to come over to do homework and maybe watch a movie in the den before dinner with her fathers. Of course, it took exactly ten minutes before their chemistry textbooks were abandoned in favor of some heavy making out. When she heard Finn starting that familiar mailman chant under his breath, she carefully pushed him away and pulled her homework back into her lap. Expecting Finn to follow suit, she was slightly surprised when he dropped to his knee instead.

"Did you drop something?" she asked with wide eyes, wondering if he was looking for a pencil or something. "If you lost your pen, you can just borrow one of mine."

Finn laughed softly as he shook his head. Rachel watched as he reached into his pocket and produced a little navy velvet box. She recognized it immediately, having seen it once at his mother's house. It was the same box that held the engagement ring his father had given his mother just before his deployment, the one with the generous center diamond and platinum band.

"What..." she started to ask as he opened the box. Rachel squeezed her eyes shut in disbelief. It didn't feel real. He couldn't be doing this - not here, not now. "Finn, what are you doing?"

"After Jean's funeral last spring, I knew that I was supposed to be with you. I was more sure of it than I had been anything else ever in my life. I saw you getting into Puck's car while I was comforting Quinn, and I just knew that it was all wrong."

"What does this have to do with Noah?"

He looked at her in confusion. "Nothing, just listen," he pleaded as she shook his head. "And then we kissed in New York and it was perfect and I knew, Rach, I just knew. I knew that I never wanted to be without you again. I'm more sure of that every single day, and our future is right here now and I just don't want to start figuring out what all that means without knowing what we mean. I want to be with you always, and I hope that you want to be with me too."

"You know that I love you, Finn."

"I do, and that's why I want to ask you a question," he said before slipping the ring out of the box. He reached for her tiny little hand, wrapping his fingers around hers lovingly so that he could cradle it in his huge palm. He gazed up at her with all the love he had spoken of so apparent in his eyes. "Rachel, will you marry me?"

She had known that those were likely the words that were coming ever since the ring had been revealed, but they still shocked her when Finn said them. "Oh, Finn," she exhaled as she looked down at the ring. It was beautiful and she loved what it symbolized. She loved him. She just didn't love how she felt when all three things were combined at once.

It changed everything and Rachel knew that she wasn't feeling the good things she should have been feeling if she really wanted to say yes. Their whole relationship had just turned on a dime, and it was too much to take in. The longer she was silent, the more fear crept into his eyes. It was like he knew her answer before she even dared to say the words. They couldn't do this. She couldn't do this.

"Finn, I can't marry you. Not now, we're still so young," she said softly. She dropped her left hand back to her lap before patting the couch next to her. Finn sat back on his haunches instead. The loud echo of the box snapping shut caused her to jump a little in surprise. "I love you, Finn, so much. I never thought I could love anyone was much as I love you. I want a future with you, I do, you're the one I want to share everything with. When I think about myself at 25 with my first Tony, you're the one I dedicate the award to, the first one I thank in my speech."

"I see all of that too, Rach."

"I see all of that, Finn, but I see it at 25. I see it after I've graduated from NYADA and put in some time on the stage. I see if after a few carefree years of living in the city and going to Europe to guest in London. There are all of these things I want to do, dreams I haven't gotten to live. I still want those things, and I don't think I can have them if we get married."

"You know that I support you. I want you to have everything you've ever wanted. Why can't you just have them with me?"

She shook her head sadly. "If I am going to get married, I need to know that the man I am marrying is the most important person in the world, even more important than me. I love you, Finn, but I'm not ready for that. I'm still too selfish to be the wife that you deserve, the wife that you need."

"I just need you, Rach," he said through the tears that had just started to fall. She was crying at that point too. "We can figure out the rest. You just have believe me."

"Finn, I'm just not ready. What's wrong with just waiting?"

Finn bit his bottom lip and shrugged a little. "I'm not willing to wait Rachel. You either want to marry me now or you don't want to be with me. We can't go back."

"Back to the way things were ten minutes ago?"

"No, I can't," he murmured softly. "I think we should break up."

Rachel choked on a sob, suddenly completely incapable of breathing on her own. She looked at him in disbelief. "Finn, you can't mean that!" she cried, reaching out to grip his wrist. If she could just touch him, if he could just feel her, he would have to change his mind. "That's not what I am trying to do here at all. I still want to be with you. I still see a future with you someday."

"Do you want to be with me more than anything?"

She looked at him in confusion. "What do you mean?"

"Because I do," he went on. "I want to be with you more than I want anything else, probably more than I've ever wanted anything actually. I don't know what is going to happen, but you're, like, the one thing I am sure about. I can build my whole future around you as long as I know that's what you want. The thing is, Rach, I don't think it is what you want."

"That's not fair."

"You're always going to want Broadway and New York more than you're going to want me. I thought I would be okay coming in second, but I'm not. I'm just not."

Neither of them spoke for a moment. The only sounds in the too-quiet room were her stifled sobs beneath the tight fist she'd pressed to her lips and the occasional nervous cracking of his knuckles.

"You make me so happy, Finn. I don't understand why this all has to be right now. Can't we just enjoy the rest of this year together and then figure everything out? We can make this work long distance if you don't want to come with me to New York. I'll come back on weekends and you can come visit me. I'll be in Lima for all the holidays. We don't have to get married to stay together. There are so many alternatives. This doesn't have to be your only choice."

"I love you, Rachel Berry," he said softly before leaning forward to frame her face in his hands. "I love you so much more than I ever thought I would, but this is the only choice. You made yours and now I have to make mine. Maybe it's not fair of me to expect everything of you, but it's not anything you haven't been doing to me these past three years. I'm sorry, but we're over."

Rachel closed her eyes as Finn pressed the saddest she'd ever had to her lips before getting off the couch. She felt the weight of him as he lifted off the cushion next to her but she couldn't open her eyes. In fact, she didn't open them until she heard the front door slam and she knew that she was alone. All those tears and sobs she had tried unsuccessfully to hold back before were set free as she collapsed into herself. Rachel wasn't sure how long she cried like that in the den, but it was well into the night by the time her fathers came home and found her still sobbing alone in the dark.

They basically had to force the story out of her when her daddy threatened to call the ambulance if she didn't stop crying and start breathing. Rachel was a mess the entire way through it, but they eventually coaxed enough stunted words out of her mouth to get the gist of what had happened. Her dad finally allowed her to stop talking and helped her upstairs to bed. Her daddy came up awhile later with a cup of tea, and the two men sat with her until she literally cried herself to sleep. Her daddy just sat there stroking her hair in her dark bedroom, only the moon casting any light in the usually bright room. Her dad sat on the floor beside the bed holding her hand. They were helpless to help her even after she had slipped into a restless sleep. Their little girl's world had just fallen apart.

Rachel woke up somewhere during the night after they had finally succumbed to their own exhaustion and headed toward their bedroom. She wanted to cry, felt the same emotions inside her aching heart, but the tears just couldn't seem to come. It was if she had cried them all out and her body was rejecting every natural instinct coursing through her veins. Maybe it was self-preservation or maybe it was dehydration; either way, she felt like it was killing her from the inside out.

She thought about calling Kurt as she laid there in the dark but knew that he might take Finn's side. Reaching for her phone, she scanned through her contacts. She could also call Blaine, but that might put him in a bad position with his boyfriend. There was really only one other person who she could call who might give a damn about her in the middle of the night. He was probably the only other person who'd actually come.

"What do you want, Berry?" came a sleepy voice over the line after only two rings.

"Noah, I need you."


	2. Lonely In Your Company

It took exactly one day before the entire school knew how her relationship with Finn had gone up in flames and two days for Rachel to start to pull back from the kids she had come to call her friends over the past two years. She had pretty much disappeared altogether after that first week. It just became easier after the dirty looks she started getting, ones that didn't quite make sense to her considering she had done the logical thing by negating Finn's proposal. WIthout the shield of her quarterback boyfriend, Rachel was right back to feeding on the bottom of the food chain.

Not everyone was like that, of course. It actually kind of surprised her who stuck by her once the breakup became public. Kurt, of course, did his very best to remain mutual. Rachel almost felt guilty when she confided in him about it at all. Whether it was by blood or by marriage, Kurt had really come to think of Finn as his brother, and best friend or not, Rachel couldn't compete with family. It's what kept her from calling that first night and stopped her from crying on his shoulder too much in the days after.

A little more surprising was Quinn. Rachel had secretly thought that there would be a chance for the former McKinley golden couple to reunite for one last shot, or at least a few weeks in the run up to prom. Instead, the pretty blonde had smiled knowingly at Rachel a couple days after the gossip mill started churning and they were both touching up their makeup in the same bathroom between classes.

"I know what it's like," Quinn had murmured as she patted Rachel's shoulder on her way out of the bathroom door. "Call me if you need to talk."

Rachel, of course, had never called. While she and Quinn might be in a better place now than they were two years ago, Rachel still didn't quite trust the former head cheerleader. There was just enough of that familiar glint still in her green eyes to leave the brunette feeling a little weary. Maybe if she got desperate enough she would lean on the blonde, but or now, she still had a couple other people to lean on.

Brittany wasn't the first one to notice how Finn was acting and Rachel was reacting right after the breakup. The first time he made a snide comment during glee practice, Rachel seemed to shrug it off easily enough and just agreed to whatever changes the tall boy had proposed. However, when he snapped at her for gently correcting his choreography when he kept stepping on her feet during dance rehearsal, Rachel finally found the courage to at least loudly whisper and ask what the hell his problem was. When he just rolled his eyes and stomped off backstage, it was the bubbly cheerleader who slung her arm around Rachel's shoulder and told her silly riddles to distract her until she was smiling again.

However, her first and favorite distraction was Noah. Puck had shown up with her favorite strawberry vanilla soy frozen yogurt within fifteen minutes of her tearful phone call when she had said she needed his help. He hadn't really asked too many questions, just retrieved two spoons and sat next to her on her bedroom floor, their backs pressed against the bed, until her fathers came into kick him out. He had wordlessly shown up the next day to drive her to school and had come two days later after her ballet class to do his geography homework with her at the kitchen table. They never really talked about what he was doing when he showed up. He just figured he'd keep doing it until she told him to stop.

That had always been the thing with them. It had always kind of been on her terms. She was the one to decide that they should start talking or making out or being friends. She was also the one who (usually) decided that they should stop. They were sort of friends but mostly, they were just allies against the perennial winners like Finn and Quinn. They understood each other in a way that only people like them could. Besides, Puck really hated to see her sad.

"Hey, Noah?" she asked softly one day just before they went to glee. She was wearing this dark green skirt with a trio of black buttons on her right hip, and Puck wondered briefly if they were functional (hot) or just for decoration (pointless). "My daddy sent a note to my last class telling me that he was going to be caught up in court this afternoon. I have ballet after glee and my car is at Burt's for repairs. Could you possibly give me a ride to my regularly scheduled class? I know that it is out of your way and will cause a minor delay to your afternoon proceedings, but if you could spare the time, I would truly appreciate it."

He grinned at her as he rubbed at the back of his next. "You realize you could have asked me that in like five words, right? Can I have a ride?" he asked her rhetorically. "That's all it would take.

"Noah!" she whined, slapping him playfully on the bicep. He flexed the muscle automatically, knowing how she'd always been drawn to one of his best physical features. He also smiled at her, knowing that his hazel eyes were likely sparkling, showing off her other favorite trait of his. "Can I have a ride please?"

"You got it, babe," he replied before wrapping his arm around her shoulders in a friendly gesture. She beamed up at him as they walked down the hall toward the choir room. He wasn't surprised when Finn glared in his general direction as Rachel escaped from beneath his loose grasp and slid into the empty seat beside Blaine. Puck shot her a look before dropping into the free chair between Finn and Tina. "What's up, Hudson?"

Finn had his arms crossed over his chest defiantly, reminding Puck of a legit child throwing a fit. "Dude, you remember that promise you made last year, right?"

Puck laughed humorlessly, choosing not to respond and instead actually pay to Schue for once as he delved into some stupid lesson that would inevitably require Puck to sing some song he hated, Whatever, it was better than listening to Finn whine at him like a bitch. Seriously, what was the guy's problem? It was like he forgot that he was the one to end things with Berry. Puck was so over the dramatics, and if it wasn't for the kicked-puppy look Rachel got every time Finn (or pretty much everyone else) threw her direction when she came into a room, Puck would have probably ignored the whole situation. He was just trying to be a good Jew and Rachel could really use that on her side.

"Finn, Rachel, why don't the two of you run through that duet we talked about?" Mr. Schue proposed as he looked over a pile of sheet music with Brad behind the piano. Puck looked over at the brunette as she reluctantly started toward the front of the room. "Come on, Finn, I want to get through it a few times before we start working on the group piece."

"I am not singing with her."

"Come on, man," Puck exhaled. "Just get up there. You know you're going to do it eventually, so save us all the hysterics."

"Shut up, Puck," Finn barked. "I am not going to stand up there and sing that song, pretending that Rachel and me are still in love. There are six other girls in this room who can sing with me. It doesn't have to be with her."

"There are also five other guys who can sing with Rachel," Artie pointed out hopefully. He had always liked the rock song that Mr. Schue had found for the latest Finchel duet. "If he doesn't want to sing with her, I'll do it."

"I am singing the damn song!" Finn snapped. "She's not."

"That's not up to you to decide, Finn."

He whirled around and started at Rachel. Puck kept waiting for their teacher to interfere, but he was watching with wide eyes like the rest of the people in the room. Puck moved to the edge of his seat, ready to strike if things escalated too quickly. "Of course you would say that. Nothing is for me to decide, is it, Rach?" he laughed humorlessly. He sounded so cruel, so unlike himself. "Well, you didn't want to marry me, couldn't stand the thought of being my partner in life or whatever. If you can't do that, then you don't get to be my singing partner either."

"Finn, it's not about us."

"You're right, Rachel," he snarled. "It's about you. It's always about you."

"No, you douche," Puck said, finally stepping in now that he could see Rachel falling apart right in front of him. "It's about all of us. This is our last year to do something really great, and you are supposed to be our leader. So put your damn ego aside and just fuckin' do it."

"Who the hell are you to..."

"Are you seriously not going to say anything?" Puck asked Mr. Schue, interrupting the latest round of Finn's little tirade against Rachel. When the teacher took a deep breath and visibly rolled his eyes, Puck let out this loud bark of a laugh. "Dude, that's it, I'm out of here. I have watched you let him get away with pretty much everything for three years, but this is where I draw the line. I get that he's your golden boy and you're living vicariously through him or whatever, but at some point, you have to realize that there are like thirteen other kids in here. How he's acting, what he's doing to her, that shit's not kosher. I can't be part of this."

"It isn't anything you haven't done before," Finn pointed out hotly.

Puck wanted to defend himself but knew he couldn't. While it might have been awhile ago, he had treated Rachel pretty terribly over the years. That's why he's a little surprised when the aforementioned songstress finally snapped and stepped up until she was inches away from Finn. "Noah apologized for that three years ago, and he hasn't done a single bad thing to me since, Finn Hudson. Just because you are jealous of my renewed and blossoming friendship with Noah does not give you the right to attack him for it. He has been wonderful."

"You don't have to defend me, Rach," he replied as she came over to stand next to her. "It's not worth it. He's not worth it."

"Maybe not," she shrugged, "but you are."

"Well, it's that just the sweetest," Santana announced sarcastically.

Puck was surprised for the second time that day when Brittany replied, "Shut up, San."

"Britt..."

"You know what Thumper said," Brittany reminded her girlfriend. "If you can't say anything nice, then don't say anything at all."

Puck looked at the two cheerleaders in confusion and then over at Rachel. "Whatever, dude, I'm not hanging around for any more of this shit. Rach, you coming?"

"Rachel, you really do need to rehearse with Finn," Mr. Schue said tiredly.

"Seriously?" she looked at the teacher, and Puck thought in that moment that he was such a moron that he made Britt and Sam seem like the brightest bulbs on the planet. "I do not think it would be conducive to my mental state to take part in practice this afternoon. I shall return tomorrow in hopes that you will have seen the error of your ways and corrected the inappropriate behavior that was displayed by your male lead today."

"What she means," Puck translated as he grabbed Rachel's hand to pull her toward the door, "is that we're out. See you suckers later!"

Rachel's giggles could be heard down the hallway and in the warm afternoon air as the two of them spilled out of the high school and into the parking lot. "I can't believe that you just took part in a patented Rachel Berry storm out," she laughed as the two of them walked toward where his truck was parked in the back row. "I never thought I'd see the day where you indulged one of my fits."

"It was hardly a fit, babe," he assured her as he lifted her pink bag and threw it into the bed of his truck. He followed her to the passenger side to help boost her into the seat and then jogged around to jump in behind the wheel. He didn't start the truck, just wrapped his long fingers around the worn leather of the steering wheel. "They deserved it, both of them. Doesn't mean I am going to let you get away with that shit again, but it was warranted back there."

"It's just so hard."

"I know it is, Berry," he murmured. "That's why I am going to help you."

"You're going to help me?" she asked skeptically, shaking her head slightly when he waggled his eyebrows and smirked suggestively. "Why do I not like the sound of that?"

"Come on, give me a break, have I tried anything yet?" he asked. He had tried his hardest to be on his best behavior. He didn't want to make things harder on Rachel. "I am just going to give you my mad Jedi skills and help you give over Hudson. The Puckerone has a multi-step process to getting over heartbreak."

"I am not hooking up with random people, Noah."

"Give me a little credit, Rach, I think I know you better than that," he reminded her softly. "I just want to see you happy again. I had to get over someone a time or two, and even if you don't know it, I've got a heart. I promise it'll work."

Rachel thought for a moment before finally agreeing with a little nod. "Okay, we'll try it your way for awhile," she replied. Puck pumped his fist a little before hold it out for Rachel to bump. She giggled girlishly as she did and then buckled her seatbelt so Puck could drive her to ballet. They were quiet on the way over, but right as he handed over her bag, she smiled up at him shyly and leaned in so only that he could hear. "I know you've got a heart, Noah. You've gotten really bad at hiding it, at least from me."


	3. A Certain Kind of Sadness

"Alright, Berry, you get one day."

Rachel looked up from where she was sitting in Noah's bedroom. He was splayed out on his bed, Playstation controller in hand, not even bothering to look her way as he talked to her. She was trying in vain to do her Spanish homework at his desk, a routine they had fallen into easily enough about two weeks after her big stand in Glee. It hadn't really gotten any less awkward among the group of singers, though Brittany had firmly planted herself on Team Puckleberry. Santana seemed to fall in Finn's camp along with a lot of the others. Tina, Sam and Blaine were the only ones who seemed to float somewhere inbetween.

"One day for what?"

He smiled easily at her innocent question. Rachel had no idea what she was in for when it came to his little plan. He had spent the better part of the past couple weeks letting her just do her thing, feel her emotions or whatever healthy bullshit she started to spout whenever he even slightly suggested that maybe it was time to think about moving forward. For all her grand declarations in front of Finn that day, it was an entirely different story when she was alone with Puck. However, now that what he believed was more than enough time had passed, it was time to get going on the Jedi stuff.

"One day to really dwell in the sadness, that depressing shit that you've been going on and on about forever. I'm going to let you cry and watch all those stupid movies that you're always talking about and eat whatever you feel like eating. I'll listen to you or get people to listen to you, whatever it takes. And then you are going to stop."

"Just like that?" she asked rhetorically, not even bothering to hide the horror in her voice. The thought of having the ability to flip the switch on her emotions seemed unfathomable. She liked to pretend that she had perfect control over her feelings, but it wasn't really as easy as she wanted to believe. At least not when it came to Finn, it had never been simple when it came to their love. "Noah, I can't just get over it in a day. I've spent the majority of the last three years in love with Finn Hudson."

"And he treated you like crap," he reminded her. He was getting a little tired of listening to her expel the virtues of his former best friend. "If we're going to do this, we need to agree that you're going to do this my way. I want you to get over him, Rach, but I can't watch you put yourself through this again. I can get him out of your system if you'll let me, but it you're going to fight me at every turn, it's just not going to work."

Rachel looked down at her textbook and then up at him. "Okay," she allowed in the quietest voice he had ever heard her use. "I trust you, Noah, I hope you know that. And I really appreciate everything you're doing to help me."

He threw his controller on the bed and came over to perch on the edge of his desk. He reached up and tugged on a dark tendril playfully. "You know I got your back, Berry," he reminded her. "If you think it's too fast, you tell me, and I promise I will listen. I know this isn't going to work unless you're really ready for it. I'm gonna get you through this, it's gonna be so good for you, babe."

It almost sounded like he was talking about something a lot different, but she knew the terms of their reignited friendship. Even if he made a lot of insinuations, Noah actually was in this purely to help her. She had been sure about that from the very first night, and her confidence in their relationship hadn't wavered in the slightest. He was as true to her as he had ever been anyone in his life, even Finn, and Rachel took the responsibility of that commitment very seriously.

Rachel showed up at his house early the next morning per his instructions before she had left his house that night. It was Saturday, which meant no school and no extra classes or lessons. The house smelled amazing when she let herself through the front door, figuring the odds of Puck actually being up and around were pretty slim. She was surprised to find him in a messy apron behind the stove, spatula in hand and Zeppelin blaring on the small radio on the counter.

"Honey, I cooked!" he teased her as he turned around to greet her. She looked at the table at the impressive spread. There were pancakes and French toast. There was a basket with cinnamon rolls and pastries. He'd set out a small buffet of different cereals. There was a ton of sugar there, and Rachel didn't even want to think about how many extra minutes she would spend on the elliptical to burn off those calories. "We're eating junk this morning, Rach. Quit thinkin' with that pretty head of yours and just have some fun. I mean, I did go through all this trouble."

Nothing worked on a girl like Rachel like guilt. She offered her assistance knowing that he'd refuse and then tucked herself into an empty chair to watch him work. Within a few minutes, he had everything laid out in front of her and they enjoyed a solid hour of eating all the sugar she could manage. He revealed that he'd even managed to make the entire meal vegan, much to her pleasure. When the dishes had been cleared away and he had replaced her plate with a cup of freshly brewed tea, Puck thought that her rosy cheeks made her the happiest he had seen her in awhile.

"Now what, Noah?"

"Eager, babe?"

"Just curious," she replied happily. She kicked her foot against his before letting it rest leisurely on his shin. He raised his eyebrow in her direction, causing a pretty little scarlet to rise up her throat. She fingered her silver Star of David absently. "This isn't much of a wallowing pity party yet, is it?"

"We're getting to that," he chuckled. "Today, Rachel Berry, for one day only, I am going to agree to watch any three musicals of your choosing. After I have endured that awfulness, you will be swept away by Brittany for a slumber party with a few of your friends of a more female persuasion. I thought about proposing something at my house, but I don't think your fathers would go for something like that."

"Or your mom," she added. "Or me for matter."

He was glad to see her giggling rather than crying. He had expected the worst and hoped for the best. So far, he had been pleasantly surprised, and he held out hope that it would stay that way. "Alright, grab your tea and head to the living room. We have some Broadway shit to watch."

"Really, Noah, still with the language?"

Puck wasn't really surprised when she had started out with the original Broadway cast recording of Les Mis, a perennial favorite that he had heard her wax poetic about on more than one occasion. He even recognized a few of the songs from Rachel's many Glee performances She seemed particularly drawn to "On My Own," humming along under her breath with tears falling freely from her chocolate eyes. There were those tears that he had been waiting for, but he was okay with them coming now. They felt appropriate here and not at all about Finn. This was about Rachel and beautiful music and the way it spoke to her heart.

He had never really heard much about the second selection, but Rachel seemed just as swept up in "Carousel." Puck already knew way more about musical theater than he was really comfortable with, but he still loved watching her watch it. She was particularly emotive during "If I Love You," and this time, he knew that she had to be thinking at least a little about Finn as she unabashedly sang along. Still, he didn't mind it so much because it was his hand she was hold and he that got to wipe her tears away.

"Alright, one more, Berry," he allowed as the final credits started to roll. She smiled up at him behind her dark lashes before reaching discreetly toward the pile of DVDs he'd stashed in the corner. She didn't let him see what she had picked as she slipped the disc into the player. Rachel just folded her legs beneath her little body. When the opening number filled the dark room, he could only look over at her in surprise. "Fiddler?"

This was the one Broadway classic his mom had put him through when he was a kid. She saw it as her Jewish duty or something to expose him to as much of their people's culture as possible, and this one was sort of a staple among his fellow Hebrews. Even if it was about a Russian milkman, some part of him could kind of relate. Besides, it followed in his tradition of respecting his fellow Jews' music.

"I thought you would appreciate the beauty of it," she said softly before sighing happily. He knew that she had probably seen it at least twice as many times as he had. It was this whole thing with the girls at the synagogue and was one of the few movies their old rabbi had let them watch during Youth Night at temple. "Oh, Noah, don't you just love it?"

Two hours later, he decided that he did love it, but mostly just because of how happy it made Rachel. She danced around the living room as he put the movies away. Rachel tried in vain to pull him into her impromptu waltz, but he simply grasped her wrists and chuckled until she stopped moving. "Don't you want to dance with me, Noah?" she begged, not at all ashamed to flash him those big doe eyes and bat her eyelashes.

"I don't dance outside of practice and competition, Berry, you know that," he reminded her before flipping off the television. "Besides, you should probably grab your stuff. You got places to be."

"You're kicking me out?" she asked with a crestfallen face.

"Hardly, babe, but glad to know that hanging out with me isn't torture," he teased her before mussing her hair playfully. "This last thing is chick territory, and as you well know, I'm no chick."

"What do I need a girl for?"

"Slumber party, Rach," he answered. "And the Puckerone doesn't do slumber parties."

She looked a little scared, and given her history, Puck couldn't really blame her. Rachel had never really been invited to too many parties when they were kids, at least not when she was the target of their pranks or the butt of their jokes. There had been one or two of them since she had gotten involved in Glee, but that mostly consisted of Kurt, Mercedes and maybe Tina watching stupid teen comedies while Rachel tried to convince them they should watch some Streisand musical no one under the age of fifty really cared about anymore.

"You...you didn't invite Quinn, did you?"

"Give me a little credit, Rach," he answered. "You know that I wouldn't put you through any of Q's drama. "It was actually Britt's idea. She invited Tina and Blaine. I know that there are usually more girls at these things, but I told her that I thought you'd appreciate the smaller crowd. Oh, and Lord Tubbington is going to be there."

"Well, of course he is," she replied, and Puck loved her a little for not even saying in sarcastically. Everyone knew about Brittany's love for the oversized cat and no one really had the heart to make fun of it too much. After that whole Santa thing last year, they all sort of admired her ability to believe in magic. "I just hope she doesn't try to get me to do that webshow of hers again. Do you know that she feeds that cat cheese, Noah? That can't be healthy."

"It's not the worst thing that cat has done, trust me," he said, visibly shivering as he remembered the time the cat had come in with a pocket knife in its teeth when he was making out with Britt in her room during sophomore year. He didn't want to know how the bloody paw prints had ended up on his floorboard. He just took it as a warning and decided that some things were best left undiscovered. "Besides, I think this will be really good for you, Berry. You can talk about that touchy-feely crap with Cohen-Chang. She's all goth still, right?"

"Actually, I think she has a more 60s retro vibe now, Noah."

"Whatever, she still can have a black heart or whatever," he brushed her off. "And Brittany is really killer at cheering people up. She's like a walking Disney cartoon or something. She'll totally get you laughing. The Hobbit likes that same Broadway stuff you do and kind of knows what it's like to be a dude. Maybe he can give you some insight that I can't because he's still sensitive or some shit like that. Plus, it's better than Beyonce, right?"

Even if the words were all wrong, the intentions were right. "That sounds lovely, Noah," she replied. "If I haven't said it enough, thank you for today. It's been really helpful. I've had a really great time."

Puck reached out to squeeze her hand before he let go. "Get your stuff, I'll drop you at Britt's."

"I have my car, Noah."

"Yeah, but this way I get to pick you up in the morning and see you in your satin nighty," he said dreamily. "You know, after the pillow fight and kissing contest."

"I had no idea you thought of Blaine that way."

"You slay me," he laughed before grabbing his keys to take her over to Brittany's.

Puck drove around Lima alone after he dropped her off, enjoying the peace of a typical suburban evening in Ohio. Rachel had a lot going on, and he knew that there was still a lot of work to do before she would be totally okay. She needed her time to mourn, to be young and not so caught up in this relationship that she thought of as so adult (even though he knew it was so high school). He was willing to give her that because more than anything, he just wanted his friend to be okay.

That was the biggest different between him now and him two years ago - he actually did care about the girl more than he cared about himself. And even if he was doubting it, a text message that came somewhere around 2 a.m. reminded him exactly why he was doing this in the first place: Keep your hands off my girl, Puckerman. If Finn wasn't such an idiot, Puck probably would have been pissed. Instead, he just chuckled into the dark, rolled back over and fell asleep with his alarm set for 8 a.m. and dreams of Rachel singing and dancing in his head.


	4. Like Resignation to the End

They say that time heals all wounds, and Rachel was just waiting for the moment when that became true for her. It should have been easier now to see Finn at school but it just wasn't getting that way. Sure, she had her friends on her side, and Noah had been absolutely wonderful in his pursuit to get her over the Frankenteen once and for all. However, when Rachel was alone at night and the lights were down, it didn't stop her mind from wandering. She could be angry and strong all day long and pretend that she was over it. Yet, as soon as day gave way to night, she knew that she would have to be honest with herself and remember.

Noah's little plan of her last day of grieving had been good in theory. It was a wonderful thought really, this idea that she would just get over him in the blink of an eye. He had believed that it could work so strongly that she had let herself believe it. But when she woke up the next day and found one of his old shirts in the laundry room, it only reminded her of everything she had lost. For a girl who had spent most of her life with only her fathers to count on, it was still a hard lesson to learn and relearn and then relearn all over again.

If only she could be angry, _just _angry at him, this would all be easier. If she didn't look at him and still see a thousand memories and a million promises. If she didn't look at him and still feel a swarm of butterflies fluttering around her stomach. If she didn't know what it was like to hold him and be held by him. If only, if only, if only. But she saw these things, felt them and knew them. It sadness and the regret far outweighed the anger most of the time. It was a pretty dangerous battle from where she stood.

"I am not going to sing with him, Mr. Schue." Rachel looked up at her teacher pleadingly. She had never wanted to not sing a song, but right now, staring at Finn, she did not want to be the female lead in this very romantic ballad. "I mean it, have Santana do it. Or Quinn or Mercedes or Tina. Even Brittany or Sugar, I don't care who does it as long as it's not me."

"Give me a break, Rachel," Finn rolled his eyes before looking over his shoulder to smirk at Santana. "Isn't this exactly what we went through last week when you told me that it wasn't about us? You're the female lead, you have to do this."

Mr. Schuester looked between the two of them and took a deep breath. He had no idea that he had signed up to be an emotional referee when he had agreed to take over the Glee Club and teach Spanish at McKinley. "Rachel, Finn's right. You did give him a lecture last week about why you two should still be able to perform together," he reminded her. "If you expected him to be as mature last week, I think we should be able to expect the same out of you."

"But this is a love song."

"And?"

"And we're not in love anymore, Mr. Schue!" she exclaimed haughtily. "While I know that my acting skills are exemplary, I don't think even I have the emotional gusto to pull this off. Finn and I hate each other right now, and professing a non-existent love would be detrimental to our performance. It would be counterproductive to the theme we are trying to achieve with these pieces. I would really hate to see the whole group suffer just because you couldn't find it in you to properly train another one of the singers."

Mr. Schuester stared at her for a moment, pinching the bridge of his nose in a very vain attempt to ward off the forthcoming migraine he was sure would strike any moment. Just as he was about to respond, Puck ambled down the stairs and grabbed her by the elbow. "Give us a minute," he said, more demanding than asking. Everyone could only watch helplessly as he took Rachel out into the hallway. "Alrgiht, Berry, you're gonna have to chill."

"I can't do this, Noah, I can't sing with him!"

Puck rubbed a hand down her arm and stared down into her eyes intently. "First of all, Rachel Berry can perform anything with anyone, so there won't be any of that false modesty," he told her. "Secondly, what you told Finn last week was right. This isn't just about you two. Everyone in that room, including me, has worked really hard these past three years to get us to where we are. We want to go to Nationals and we want to win them. As much as I hate to say it, you and Hudson are the best bet we got. Your chemistry when you're singing together is undeniable. You can do this, Rach, because you have to do it. If you can't do it for Mr. Schue or the others or yourself, do it for me. How else am I ever going to see New York?"

Rachel smiled at the question. "You know, you could just come visit me next year…"

"Not the point, Berry," he chuckled, tapping her on the nose. "I know it's not easy being around him, especially not when you have to express things you don't want to feel anymore. But look at it all as the greatest acting role of your life. Become a character, anyone who's not you, and treat Finn the same. And if that still won't work, then look for me. I'm always right there with you. Sing to me if it'll make it easier. We just need to hear that gorgeous voice of yours."

She only thought about it for a moment before she slowly nodded her agreement. "Fine, I guess I can do it for you. And for Quinn and whoever else is still on my side," she allowed. "But if he say's anything else…"

"I got your back, Berry," he promised her before kissing the top of her head. She wrapped her fingers around his wrist and followed him back into the choir room. He stopped and looked at his former best friend and then at their teacher. "She is going to sing this song with him but that's it. Only one duet, we need to figure out something for the other two pieces."

"Oh, so now Puck's defending you?"

Puck turned and looked at Santana. "Berry doesn't need me to protect her, Satan, so can it."

"Really, taking her side? I thought more of you, Noah," she sneered back. As much as Puck loved the Latina girl, he could also really hate her sometimes. He knew that she was jealous, used to having him forever on her side, and anyone that jeopardized their twisted little friendship was viewed as a threat. He'd deal with that later. For now, he just laughed humorlessly at her and shook his head. "What's so funny?"

"The fact that you're on Finn's side is down right hilarious," he retorted before turning back to Rachel. "One song and you're done, obligation fulfilled. You cool?"

As soon as Rachel nodded, Finn took it as his signal to jump in. "What are you doing, Rachel? You couldn't have me so you're moving onto him? You might not need him to defend you but you're certainly letting him do your bidding."

"Finn, it doesn't have to be like this."

"You're hot one minute and you're cold the next. What is going on with you?" he asked rhetorically. "I can't sing with you and you make me seem like the worst person on the planet. You can't sing with me and it's still somehow my fault. You're letting someone else speak for you now. Where's the Rachel I know, where's my Rachel?"

Puck was about to say something when she pressed her palm flat to his chest to stop him. "I am not your Rachel, Finn," she said softly, evenly. "That stopped when you decided that it had to be all or nothing and that anything in between wasn't good enough for you. That stopped when you refused to compromise when you couldn't have it just your way. That stopped when you realized that I meant what I said when I told you my dreams every single day for the past three years. That stopped when I realized that you didn't really know me at all if you thought that I was just going to give them up. That stopped, Finn, it's done."

"Maybe you're right, maybe we shouldn't sing this together."

"Or maybe," Mr. Schue said aloud, "we should take this as an opportunity for a lesson. Rather than make it a romantic ballad, let it tell about letting go."

Puck looked at him incredulously. "Our lives aren't just lessons for you to teach, opportunities for you to perfect your song list. I feel like something is wrong with this situation if I'm the one pointing out you're being insensitive."

"Noah, maybe he's right. Finn and I simply can't sing this song."

"Oh, you can and you will," Quinn announced as she stood up. "We've all learned the choreography and backgrounds to this song. I have college applications and family obligations and about a million other things to deal with without having to add this nonsense on top of it. Get your head in the game, Rachel. You're a professional, you got this." Finn looked at the blonde with a little bit of wonder in his eyes. She glanced up at him and had to shake her head. "You too, Finn. Puck's right, you both need to man up and just get through it."

"Fine," Rachel huffed as Finn crossed his arms and muttered, "Whatever."

A painful half-hour later, the song actually sounded pretty perfect if Rachel could just stop staring daggers at Finn and he didn't recoil every time her hand brushed his. Having had enough for the day, Mr. Schue threw in the towel early and dismissed them with the announcement of an extra practice the next afternoon. Finn was the first one out of the room, Santana and Kurt hot on his heels. Rachel couldn't find it in her to care all that much as she lingered behind to meticulously pack away her sheet music. Quinn offered Puck an apologetic wave before trotting out after Brittany. Soon, the two of them were left alone with only the silent Brad, who was working away at tuning the piano in the corner.

"Okay, so that wasn't exactly my proudest moment."

"You definitely took a few steps back there, Rach."

"I want to hate him, Noah, I do. It'd be so much easier."

"I've thought that a million times about Quinn and look where that got us," he laughed. "The two of us were the only ones in agreement on anything. It feels like sophomore year all over again, us four mixed up in this web where Santana is weirdly hovering around the edges. That turned out to be a disaster all around, and I don't want that to be a repeat for any of us."

She looked down at her patent red flats and then up at him. "Thanks for sticking up for me back there."

"I told you that I got your back, but you have got to figure out how you want to do this. It's hypocritical to expect one thing from him and to do another in the next breath. Do you want to hide out this year or do you want to make the most of your senior year? You only get one, Berry, and you're the only one who can decide what that looks like."

"I don't know what I want, Noah."

"Well, I'm trying to help you here, Rach, but I can't do that if you won't let me," he reminded her. "You know where to find me when you know which direction you want to go."

* * *

_Author's note: Sorry that I have been away so long form this story. I got caught up in a few other and then life was busy and then there was Cory's passing. I wasn't sure where to take it because I knew Finn wasn't going to be a good guy in my fic. I thought about changing that but felt like it wouldn't be authentic to my personal storytelling approach. So while I am sad for his loss, I hope you'll hang in with me for this story. Xoxo._


	5. Don't Even Need Your Love

Finn waited a few days before he approached Rachel again. It was rare to find her knocking around the hallways of McKinley alone these days, and he knew that he wasn't exactly welcome to show up on her doorstep anymore. Their little confrontation a few days ago in Glee had proven exactly that, and he wasn't exactly looking for another argument with Puck. Besides, her fathers had always scared him just enough to know that they wouldn't be cool with the things he had said to her.

He went to her with the intent to apologize, but as soon as he saw her locker door, any rational thoughts flew out the window. Gone were the pictures of the two of them together and the silly little mementos she had so sweetly tacked up at the beginning of the year. Instead, there were pictures of her with what friends had taken her side in the whole latest Finchel debate. He particularly hated the one of her with Puck, the two of them laughing at the camera in a picture that had to be taken by Brittany because her finger half-covered the print.

"I think we should talk."

"I don't really want to talk to you right now, Finn," she said softly, turning back to her locker in search of her Spanish book. Finn put his hand on the locker next to hers and leaned in intently. It reminded her so much – _too much_ – of how it used to be when him stopping by her locker was a regular occurrence. "You made it clear that we couldn't be friends last week, and since nothing has changed, I don't think we have much to say to each other."

Rachel tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and started down the hallway. "It's about Glee!" he called out, knowing full well that it was the only thing that would get her attention. She had agreed to do what was best for the club the other day, and as a dedicated performer, he knew that Rachel wouldn't let them fail. "Come on, Rach, it'll take a minute."

"It's Rachel," she corrected him curtly. "Only my friends get to use my familiar nickname. We can go to the choir room to speak. I believe that it is free this period."

Finn counted it as a small victory as he followed her down the hallway toward the room that had started everything between them. He couldn't count how many life-altering moments he'd had within the confines of the choir room. He'd fallen in and out of love there, lost and gained new friends. It's where he really found himself and thought he'd found his future. Now, standing at Rachel looking like she wanted to be anywhere but with him, he wasn't sure what lay ahead.

"Listen, we never really got to finish what we were talking about the other day," he began. "I know that you're still pissed at me for breaking up with you, but we have to work together. You can't keep letting Puck butt in whenever I try to say something you don't like."

"I think we both know that Noah does whatever he wants," she replied. "And I'm not angry at you, Finn. I'm disappointed that you wouldn't even consider how much I loved you before you broke my heart."

"I broke your heart?!" he laughed humorlessly. "You're the one who wouldn't marry me, remember? I asked you to be my wife, to stay with me forever, and you turned me down. You don't get to stand here and act self-righteous about that, Rachel. This is all on you."

Rachel rolled her eyes. "And this is why I can't talk to you, Finn! You refuse to see reason or even reality!"

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"It means that you act like I'm some toy for you to possess, Finn," she shot back. "You only want me when you want me and at the first sign that I might have an actual opinion of my own, you discard me like you could care less. You did it when Quinn decided that she might be interested in you again last year and you're doing it now when things aren't going your way."

"It's not like that, Rachel," he argued back loudly. "I was willing to give you everything and that wasn't good enough for you. You had to have more; you always have to have more. Well, I don't have anything else to give to you."

Rachel took a deep breath and mentally collected herself before looking up at him again. "This isn't going to get us anywhere. I can't argue with you anymore, Finn, I simply don't have the energy," she told him. "I know that we have to get along for the sake of our friends. Nationals means too much to all of us for us to forsake that now. I think it's best that we don't have contact unless it is Glee related. I know that's going to be hard for both of us, but I really think that's the only way we can make this work for everyone. It's not fair for us to keep putting them in the middle. I promise that I won't throw any more tantrums like I did the other day. I will sing the songs that we agreed on and will do my best to make it look real. That's all we can do here. We owe it to them and to ourselves to win."

Finn fiddled with the string on his hoodie nervously. "Whatever, Rachel."

"Good, I can see you're going to be mature about this," she retorted. "I need to get to class. I will see you later, Finn, have a good day."

She didn't wait for a response before leaving him behind. They were just going to keep arguing in circles, and she couldn't take any more of the unnecessary drama. What was done was done. She was ready to regain her control and strength in the situation. Revisiting old ghosts wasn't going to get them anywhere. They only had a few more months until they took the stage at Nationals, and she had every intention of making sure they were perfect.

Rachel was still wrapped up in her thoughts when she turned a corner and ran smack into Noah. He wrapped his strong arms around her shoulders to catch her. "Whoa, Rach, where's the fire?" he teased. She grimaced up at him with a determined face. "What'd he do this time?"

"It doesn't matter," she answered truthfully. "I am done talking about and arguing with Finn Hudson. I am going to throw all my energy in getting us ready for Nationals and nothing is going to stand in my way."

Knowing that the determined look in her beautiful dark eyes spelled trouble for all of them, Puck knew that it was best that she cut her off at the bend in her forthcoming Crazy Berry train wreck. "I think you're frustrated, Berry. You've got to get it out for once and all and I think I have just the thing to do it."

Rachel smiled despite herself. "I am not sleeping with you, Noah."

"That's not what I am talking about, thought I wouldn't be entirely opposed if you were willing," he teased with a wink and an ornery smirk. Rachel ignored the tiny twinge of her that was a little charmed by his suggestive demeanor. There was no denying that the boy was delicious. His arms were lovely, after all. "I meant a physical activity of another kind. I have to admit, though, I'm pretty proud of you. Your mind was totally in the gutter there, Rach."

"Consider the source," she smiled, elbowing him gently in the side as they started toward her classroom side by side. "Anyhow, consider my curiosity piqued, Noah. What, pray tell, do you have in mind?"

"Two words," he replied. "Fight Club."

"I am not fighting anyone, Noah."

Puck ignored the mental image of Rachel rolling around with Santana in revealing clothing. "You don't have to actually fight with anyone. You could just learn how to spar. We practice boxing in the gym and stuff. Come on, Blaine is in it, so you know that it can't get too violent. It's just a way to beat the hell out of someone or something to get all your frustrations out. You have to admit there have been way fewer dumpster dumps on my part since I started going."

"So I wouldn't actually have to hit anyone?"

"Of course not," he chuckled. "We have punching bags and practice mitts. It'd be good exercise, and I don't know, doesn't that produce endorphins or some shit? Just come one time and give it a chance. What could it hurt?"

Rather than point out each of the numerous injuries this stupid club could lead to, Rachel decided to just go along with it. It felt really important to let Puck feel like he was helping her, and she never had to go back if it was terrible. Once she agreed, he couldn't help but wrap her up in a tight hug and kiss her forehead excitedly. He told her to meet them in the wrestling room that night in seven and to bring treats. It was a newbie tradition.

When Rachel showed up in her favorite black yoga pants and a hot pink shirt that night, she had no idea what she was walking into. There were groups of guys paired off throughout the room, which was hot and dank. Rap music was blaring from an old radio in the corner. She watched one of the football players go around with a kid she sort of recognized from the marching band. Noah appeared a moment later, sweat trickling down his bare chest. His knuckles were taped, and he was holding a small pair of black boxing gloves.

"They're brand new, I picked 'em up for you today," he said as he helped her put them on. "I knew you would be worried about germs and stuff. I've got you set up in the corner. You can just leave the cookies by the cooler. The guys will find them when they're ready."

Puck worked side by side with Rachel for the next hour to show her the basics of boxing. She picked up the stance easily enough and moved onto different types of hits and punches. He should have been surprised that she was such a quick learner, but like everything else did, Rachel was just naturally talented. When she decided that she had enough for the night, he took a few turns hitting the bag and pretending that his former best friend's face was where the logo on the leather was. Then, when the lights flashed, it was time for the real action to begin.

"You should go if you don't want to see this," he warned her. Rachel looked afraid as the guys cleared the middle of the floor. There was an angry hockey player shadowboxing in the makeshift ring. "It may get bloody."

Curious to see what was about to happen, Rachel followed Puck to the edge of the crowd where Blaine was standing. "Stay here and don't move until I come get you. Blaine will watch over you in case anything goes down. Stick with him, okay?"

"Fine."

"Promise me, Rach."

She looked up at his very serious face. "I promise, Noah," she said, reaching out to squeeze his hand.

He looked down at her with a small smile and nodded before pounding his gloves together. He made his way through the crowd, and Rachel was surprised when he started to circle the hockey player. She had no idea that he would be fighting tonight. It was exhilarating to watch it, and she was only a little ashamed of the adrenaline coursing through her body when Noah landed the first punch. A few hits later and the hockey player was already starting to look worn. However, when Puck turned to glance back at Rachel, he landed a cheap shot to his left cheek. Puck snapped back into action and returned it with a mean right hook to his nose. He didn't relent until the hockey player was laying on the ground in the fetal position. When he gave up a few moments later, the apparent referee held up Puck's hand in victory.

"Still undefeated," he muttered as he came back over, taking the bottle of water from Blaine's outstretched hand. "What'd you think, Berry? Hate it?"

"You're bleeding," she said softly, reaching up to trace her thumb below the small gash on his cheek. He smiled and turned involuntarily into the touch. "You should clean it."

"It'll be fine," he promised her. "We should get out of here. Blaine, you have a ride?"

"Yeah, Kurt's picking me up. He thinks I'm here tutoring some of the jocks."

"Sweet, man, I'll see you later," Puck said before bumping his fist to the former Warbler. He grabbed his bag and led Rachel out into the brisk night air. They stopped beside his truck so that he could pat himself dry. Rachel was surprised when he took an antiseptic wipe across his cheek and pulled on a shirt. "Ma's a nurse, she'd freak if she knew what I did."

"I can see why," she replied. "It was scary watching you. I mean, I didn't want you to get hurt."

"Didn't know you cared so much, Berry."

"Of course I do," she replied, but they both knew he'd already known that. "It was also exciting."

He didn't say anything, only grinned at her as if he knew a secret she wasn't quite ready to figure out. "It's getting late. Do you need a ride?"

"I have my car," she replied, pointing to her Prius a few rows back. "Thank you for inviting me tonight, Noah. It was an enlightening and surprisingly good experience."

"Anytime," he replied before pulling her into a tight hug. "Night, Rach."

"Good night, Noah," she said in return before jogging over to her car. She quickly got inside and started the engine, knowing that he would wait until she was on her way safely before he would head home himself. She waved on the way by and then reached for the knob to turn up the stereo as she pulled out of the parking lot.

Rachel ignored Celine as she made her way toward home, instead thinking about Noah. He had somehow known that this was exactly what she'd needed, even when she hadn't been as sure. That did something to a girl, and for the first time in a while, Rachel was feeling empowered. She thought maybe there was something around the bend and that she would be able to move on from Finn. Noah was giving her that and she couldn't wait to see what else he had in store for her.


	6. Make Out Like It Never Happened

"Do you remember when we sang 'Sing' when Coach Sylvester was moonlighting with the club?" Puck asked her rhetorically. Of course she did, they all did. It was one of their most powerful songs as a group and had unified them at a time when they had really needed it. The intensity of that performance at the auditorium had been one they had wanted to take to competition until she had taken it away from them with one of her senseless lies. "Do you remember how it made us feel when we were pumping our fists and jumping around on stage? We were loud and strong and full of so much heart. That's step one. You have to find an anthem."

Rachel looked at him confusedly. She remembered telling everyone it wasn't good enough for Regionals. She had loved the song but thought that something original would be more powerful. The song she wrote in the aftermath of her breakup with Finn had given them that added edge. It had been her anthem then but it had been too adolescent, to innocent to suffice now.

"Think about it, Berry, all those divas that you and Chocolate Thunder are always talking about have them," he pointed out. "Cher did that electronic song in the late 90s about life after love. Whitney Houston has like ten songs about surviving heartbreak, and I think Kurt or Blaine have covered every single one of them. So that's your homework for tonight. I want you to report back with a strong and powerful song that you're going to use as your own personal anthem."

"What was yours? You know, to get over Quinn?" she asked. He didn't have to tell her for her to know that was where this whole plan originated in the first place.

"Back in Black, AC/DC," he told her before throwing a casual wave over his shoulder and running toward his truck. He fired up the engine and twenty seconds later, he was gone.

Rachel must have spent two hours poring over her entire iTunes library searching for the perfect song. She had all these ballads that talked about lost love and regret, but they lacked the power she was looking for. And of course, there were all the standard clichés that she could rely on, but it wouldn't be Rachel Berry. The only song that even started to rank was the All-American Rejects song she had done sophomore year. That was until she came across a Pink song that could have written the modern girl's guide on surviving heartbreak.

"Never Again," she told Puck the first thing next morning. "It's a little crude for my typical taste but strong and in your face nonetheless. Kelly Clarkson is a consummate artist like myself. I think it's perfectly fitting."

Surprised by the pop rock that she settled on rather than her usual ballad, he couldn't help but squeeze her to his side affectionately. "There's the fire I was looking for. That brings us to the second part. You're singing that song in Glee."

There was a flash of fear in her eyes. "What? Why?"

"He needs to know you're serious about this, Rach, they all do. Everyone thinks that you're going to go crawling back to him eventually, even Finn," he told her honestly. "If you pull this off, if you belt it out like I know you can and really mean it, they'll know that you're strong enough to lead us to Nationals without Hudson getting in your pretty little head."

She was quiet for a moment while she mulled this over. It wasn't that she was bothered about having to sing the song. It was what girls like her did, sing out her emotions. She had done it in the choir room a million times these past few years and probably would many more times before graduation. She didn't even really mind that it might hurt Finn's feelings. The thing that bothered her most was that part of her thought Puck still didn't quite believe her yet.

"Do you…do you think I'm going to go back to him?"

Puck looked down at her and then at his clasped hands. He wanted to believe that she wouldn't go back to Finn, but history had always dictated otherwise. "I hope so, but honestly, Rach, I don't know. You and Finn have always been this big thing and no matter what you guys both say, you love each other. If you go back, what business is that of mine? I just don't want to see my Little Jewish American Princess upset."

"Noah, I'm not going to go back to Finn," she told him quietly. He looked at her like he didn't buy it at all. "I'm not. I promise, that part is over."

"You don't have to make promises to me, Berry," he replied. "We all have people we don't get over."

"And you think mine's Finn?" she questioned rhetorically, earning a confident nod from him. "And who's yours? Quinn?"

Puck pulled away as the bell rang and started to walk backward down the hallway. He looked her dead in the eye, as serious as she had ever seen him. "For me, it's you."

Rachel spent the rest of the day unsure of what to do with that. It was a huge confession, one with the weight to change everything about her world. She wasn't ready to deal with what it could mean. Her and Noah had only been a fleeting thing a few years ago, but she'd be remiss if she didn't admit that there had always been something there. A certain kind of chemistry, if you will, had always brought them back together when they were lonely and needed safety.

She was no closer to having figured it out when she came into the choir room for Glee practice that afternoon. Rather than occupying her now usual seat next to Puck, Rachel slid into the end seat by Brittany. The blonde sensed that something was off about the resident songstress and immediately wrapped her up into an intricate story that involved her cat overdosing. Just as Rachel was helping Brittany translate the 12 Step program to feline terms, Mr. Schue came into the room and asked who wanted to start things off.

"Mr. Schue, if you don't mind, I have something I would like to sing," Rachel announced. The choir teacher shrugged and waved her toward the front of the room, used to starting a lot of practices with a signature Berry solo. "I will be performing my own arrangement. Artie, can you back me up on guitar?" The bespectacled boy wheeled to the front of the room next to her and picked up his black and white electric guitar from the stand. "One, two, three, four…"

Rachel had taken all of her third hour off to practice the arrangement. Artie started strumming the beat on his unplugged guitar to give the usually energetic song a stripped down feeling. Starting with the chorus and omitting the first verse altogether, Rachel took a seat on the edge of the stool next to Artie and focused her attention to a tall brunette who had once had her entire heart and the petite blonde who had always had the biggest part of his.

"You knew exactly what you would do, don't say you simply lost your way. She may believe you, but I never will. Never again," Rachel sang softly, slowly, staring right into Finn's eyes. She then turned her gaze on a stoic Quinn. "If she really knows the truth, she deserves you. A tophy wife, oh how cute, ignorance is bliss."

Artie slipped the chord to the amp in at that point and Rachel leapt of the stool to stand in front. "But when your day comes and he's though with you, and he'll be through with you, you'll die together but alone," Rachel belted out, her eyes never leaving Quinn. The blonde wilted visibly under the harsh directive. Seemingly satisfied, Rachel moved her stare back to Finn. "You wrote me in a letter, you couldn't say it right to my face. Well, give me that Sunday school answer, repent yourself away."

Rachel started jumping up and down then as the beat picked up even more, fist pumping in the air proudly over her head. Brittany soon joined her, the two girls dancing and smiling in unison. "Does it hurt to know I'll never be there? Bet it sucks to see my fave everywhere. It was you who chose to end it like you did. I was the last to know."

She started to work through the crowd, running her hand across Sam's shoulders and over Mike's chest. "You knew exactly what you would do," she sang sultrily as Artie once again slowed the rhythm. And don't say you simply lost your way. They may believe you but I never will. Never again."

Taking the steps all the way to the top of the riser, Rachel stopped and perched herself on Puck's knee before looking down at Finn. "Never again will I hear you. Never again will I miss you. Never again will I fall to you, never!" she sang confidently as Puck's hand found purchase on her right hip. She turned her gaze and shook her head a little before smiling mischievously. "Never again will I kiss you, never again will I want to. Never again will I love you, never!"

Rachel finally made her way back to the stool and smiled over at Artie. "They may believe you, but I never will," she harmonized before letting her eyes finally rest on Finn again. "I never will, no, I never will. Never again."

She didn't even hear the applause as she returned to her seat. In fact, she didn't comprehend much through the rest of practice. Finn was the first one to storm out once Mr. Schuester had dismissed them, Quinn not too far behind him. Rachel took her time packing up her pink trolley bag until it was only her and Puck left in the room. He took the handle from her as she started toward the hallway.

"So never again?"

"For some things," Rachel smiled, allowing just the slightest hint of flirtation to creep into her tone. "Never Finn again, Noah, I meant it. I deserve someone who understands that my dreams aren't limited to just love or career."

"Damn right you do, Berry," he chuckled before stopping beside her little hybrid in the parking lot. "I think you have successfully gotten yourself to step three."

"And step three is…?"

"What is the one thing you always wanted to do when you were with Finn but wouldn't let yourself?"

There had been very few things Rachel hadn't felt like she couldn't share with Finn, he was just that kind of guy. However, there were some parts of her old self that she missed. "Wear my animal sweaters," she admitted. They had kind of gone away over the past year. There were still some elements of classic Berry there, but she had a whole closet filled with pleated skirts and bright jumpers that she still loved. "I know they're juvenile but I like them. They have meaning. They were part of me when I wasn't pretending to be someone else just to fit in what I thought I should be. I was just me."

Puck elbowed her suggestively. "I do miss those knee socks."

"Noah!" she blushed as he lifted her bag into her back seat. Rachel slipped behind the steering wheel so that he could shut the door after her. He leaned down and grinned at her through the windows. "Do you have any requests?"

All of the indecent thoughts that have had a prominent place in his mental spank bank came rushing back at once. However, it came back to one, tiny little black skirt. "The black one, you know, from the day when I got slushied," he answered. "Yeah, that one definitely, you should totally wear that one."

There was a spark in Noah's eyes that Rachel both recognized and loved. She didn't say anything, just fluttered her fingers at him before leaving him alone to readjust his jeans in the parking lot. She wasn't surprised when his truck came roaring into her driveway five minutes before she typically left and that he was leaning against the cab when she came out in the black skirt as requested. It was paired with a dark sweater with a pink dinosaur (a reference to Puckasaurus possibly?) and pink and black striped knee socks. He didn't even pretend not to sneak a peek when he helped her into the passenger side and she didn't even pretend to care.

Rachel actually had the best day she'd had in quite some time. She ignored Santana's barbs and Quinn's glares. She ignored Jacob Ben Israel's inappropriate comments and Coach Sylvester's usual putdowns. She ignored the pointed looks from Kurt and the style tips from Mercedes and the questioning eyes that came from both Mike and Tina. Instead, she accepted Brittany's compliment on her dinosaur jumper and laughed when Artie raised his eyebrows at her jokingly on their way to Spanish and held onto Puck's arm when he insisted on escorting to Glee. And she forgot all about Finn altogether, totally swept the boy from her mind.

After they were all out for the evening, Rachel told Puck to drive out to the lake because she wasn't ready to go home yet. The feeling was too good to let go, and she just wanted to chase this light. He let down the tailgate once they were parked and spread out an old blanket he kept stashed under the seat. Sitting side by side, looking up at the winter sky and shivering in his letter jacket, Rachel felt like maybe this really was possible.

"What's step four, Noah?"

"Well, you've got the words, the attitude and the look. Now it's time to test yourself."

"Test myself?"

"You need to talk to him, Rach. You're strong enough to do it now. You need to make peace."

That one wasn't quite as easy, but she didn't want to wait for it. Instead, she pulled her cell phone from her purse inside his truck and nodded toward a bench just a few feet from the water's edge. "I'm going to take a walk," she said softly. "I'll be right back, okay?"

He watched her helplessly as she trekked down the hill in the dark. He could just make out her shadow from the moon's reflection on the lake. Once she was settled on the seat, he could see the glow of her phone as she dialed his number. He took a deep breath and sent a prayer up to God that he didn't lose her because of this stupid plan. He always had to have a damn plan.

"Finn, do you have a moment?"

He sounded surprised to hear her voice when he answered. "Uh, yeah, sure, give me a minute," he asked her. She heard him tell his parents that he'd be back and to the pause the movie. She could picture him walking down the hallway and into his bedroom, sitting on the edge of his twin bed with the cowboy sheets. "Sorry about that. What's up, Rach?"

"I know that things between us aren't great right now. It's been strange not talking to you," she confessed. "And maybe it seems like I'm doing all these things to get back at you, but I'm not trying to hurt you, Finn. You have to know I wouldn't want to do that for anything in the world. After everything, I hope that you still know."

There was a small sigh over the line and she could almost hear him nodding his head. "I know, Rachel," he assured her. "I didn't want to hurt you either. It just got so messed up. It really, really hurt. And I was so embarrassed. I put everything out there for you and it still wasn't enough. I guess I finally get what it was like for you."

"Oh, Finn," she murmured. "We're so much more than those moments. I miss a lot of things about us, but the thing I miss the most is just talking to you. You were more than just the boy I loved; you truly were my best friend. I don't want to lose the parts of each other we love the most. I know it'll take some time but I hope that you can forgive me."

"I'm working on it." He waited a beat and then went on. "I miss that part too, just hanging out. But Rachel, you have to know that I am going to move on. I am moving on."

"With Quinn, I know," she smiled in the dark. She had known, she had always known. "You know that Quinn told me once, last year before we got back together, that she knew how the story ended. You'd choose her, settle down in Lima. She'd be a real estate agent, you'd take over Burt's shop and you'd have a family together. I think that's what you want, Finn, and you deserve to have all of that and more. If it's Quinn that is going to make you happy, then I want you to have her."

Finn laughed a little. "You sound like you actually mean that."

"You're the kind of guy that girls look for," she replied. "She's lucky to be loved by you. I know I was."

"I still love you, Rach, you know? I kinda think I always will."

"Me too, Finn," she admitted. "Hey, I should let you get back to your movie. We'll talk again soon, okay? We have to rehearse if we're going to kill it at Nationals."

"I'll talk to you later, Rachel," he said before hanging up, and for the the first time, Rachel didn't want to cry or yell when she ended the call. She only smiled again into the darkness and felt something shift inside of her.

"I think I'm ready for step five," Rachel announced as she came back up the hill and stopped to stand between Noah's legs. His arms slid around her waist and pulled her against the tailgate. He looked down into her eyes in that way he always did right before something happened. She still wasn't sure what that was or even if she wanted it to happen. "What's step five, Noah?"

"Step five," he whispered as he leaned in, "is moving on."

Just as his lips were about to meet hers, Rachel put her hands and gently pressed him back. "We can't do this, Noah, not yet," she said before turning away. She heard him moan in exasperation before taking a few deep breaths. "It's not that I don't want to. Trust me, I want to…God, do I want to." She glanced at his cocky grin then and had to smile a little. "But if we do this now, Noah, I'm just not ready. I need more time. I need to know that this is only about us and not any of that other stuff. You've been so amazing, absolutely wonderful, I don't want to ruin it by going too fast."

"Rachel, I would never push you…"

"I know, Noah."

He took her home that night and didn't say much as she jumped out of the truck, his coat still on and her little skirt flapping in the wind. He waited until he saw her light turn on upstairs and then backed out of the driveway. He must have driven around for two hours after that, tearing up every gravel road on the outskirts of town, trying to figure everything out. When he still didn't have an answer at midnight, he drove home and hoped the answer would come in his dreams while he slept.

Rachel went through her nighttime routine and tried not to dwell on everything. That was what girls like Rachel did usually. Instead, she flipped on some Carly Simon and took down the last few photos of Finn in her room to store in the box now tucked away beneath her bed. She grabbed Noah's coat just before she slipped beneath the covers and pressed her face to the collar to see if there was any trace of him left or if it had been replaced by only her. What she found, what she knew was starting to form in her heart, was a mix of both of them. Rachel knew for certain that Noah was where she was headed; now, she only needed time.

* * *

_Author's Note: Lyrics are copyright of Kelly Clarkson's "Never Again."_


	7. Times You Screwed Me Over

After that moment with Noah, Rachel decided that the last thing she needed to do was spend more time around him and the first thing she needed to do was actually take time to think about what had happened over the past month. She had this tendency, as did Finn, to float from one relationship to another. She had done it with Finn and Jesse more than once, even with Noah if she was truly honest with herself about their brief interludes here and there over the past two years. He had never really been given the fair chance that he deserved from her, and more than anything, she just didn't want to mess this up.

The thing about Noah was that he came with a lot of baggage. He came with all these confusing feelings and past memories and insecurities that she thought she had buried when Finn had finally chosen her over Quinn last year. He also came with a reputation, one he had more than proven to her since they had first hooked up sophomore year. It was that reputation that led to him hooking up with Shelby, her own biological mother, in a move that he still didn't know that she knew for certain. As much as she cared about him, she just couldn't forget a thing like that. Puck had always had a goal, a mission, in the past, and she was terrified that he was just going to drop her once she had been conquered.

It's not like these were exactly new revelations. She had always known these things about him. Noah had never once hid the kind of guy he was. He had always been upfront about what kind of man he was, what he wanted out of his relationships with women. With Rachel that first time, it had been heavy petting and forgetting. Quinn had been his chance to do better than his father had and the need feel special, even if he would never really admit it. Santana had been purely about sex and power, the want to be on top of the social pyramid for them. And Lauren had been about just feelings, as strange as it seemed. Now, this time, Rachel knew that it was probably a culmination of all those things. It was only the last thing that really scared her.

So she did her best to avoid him the next few days at school. She took up residence in the empty chair on the end of the front row next to Brittany and avoided Noah's stares at any cost. She sang her assigned parts but didn't volunteer any additional solos. She studied for classes and hung out with her fathers and basically kept her head down as much as possible. She knew that something was happening with Quinn and Finn, even if it wasn't out in the open yet, so that hurt. She wasn't ready to deal with that yet. Going through the motions seemed like the only option, so that was the route she had chosen.

That was, of course, until she saw Puck talking quietly to a brunette girl in the hallway that she recognized vaguely as one of the sophomore Cheerios. He wasn't touching her but their heads were bent together in an intimate way that Rachel didn't like. Noah didn't seem to notice her as she strode by purposefully toward the auditorium. She willed the tears not to come, knowing that she didn't fully have the right, but feeling the emotions nonetheless. Rather than take the stage once she reached her preferred safe haven, Rachel just sort of collapsed into an empty seat somewhere in the middle and let her soft sobs settle into the room.

It wasn't until then that Rachel considered the possibility that Noah might be just using her. She had told him she wasn't ready for things to happen, and he had already moved on. If he really cared about her, wouldn't he wait just a little longer? He had supposedly been waiting this long for her to see what he saw. It hadn't even been a week, and he had already moved onto a skank who was clearly going to give it up at the first opportunity. Maybe she was just another way to get back at Finn and Quinn. She didn't know what she was to him, but she didn't like how it felt right now.

She didn't hear the door behind her open and shut, but before she knew it, Rachel wasn't alone. Finn was sitting next to her, pulling a crumpled Kleenex from the back of his backpack for her to swipe at her nose. Rachel smiled at him gratefully before covering her face with her hands. "I'm sorry," she apologized quietly. Finn only smiled in that goofy, crooked way that he always did, and Rachel was reminded why she first loved him so long ago. "I don't know what's going on with me."

"I saw you kind of take off back there," he said softly, reaching up to pat her shoulder awkwardly. "Look, I know that a lot of stuff has been going on, but we agreed to try to be friends. I don't know why you're upset, but I'm here to listen if you need someone."

Rachel allowed Finn to thumb away the tears falling from her dark eyes. It would be so easy to just take his hand in hers and lean her head on his shoulder. It was as natural as breathing. Instead, she smiled at him gratefully and nodded. "I'm just feeling a little overwhelmed about everything right now."

"About NYADA and stuff?"

She realized then that he had no idea that this was about his best friend and not her future in New York. "Yes, the future is certainly becoming a very real and scary thing all of a sudden," she managed, feeling slightly guilty about the lie. It was more of an omission than anything. "It's all happening so quickly now and I think I know what I want. I just keep thinking about what if this all wrong. What if I am disappointed? What if I am making a mistake?"

Finn looked over at her intently. "Rach, you can't think like that," he insisted kindly. "You are the most talented girl I know. I don't think – no, I know – you wouldn't have let go of me if you weren't absolutely certain that you belonged somewhere else."

"Oh, Finn," she murmured through the tears. "I will never completely let go of you. You have to know that."

"I know," he said with a small nod. He reached down then and finally took her hand, rubbing his thumb across her soft skin just as he always had. Their eyes locked and he started to lean forward. Just before their lips met, both of them snapped apart. She grabbed her hand back and clutched it back to her chest. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean…Dammit. Rach, I'm sorry."

She giggled and shook her head. "It's okay, Finn, we just can't go back there."

"Yeah," he agreed just as the bell rang. He looked down at his watch before grabbing his bag. "I should get to trig. We have a test. I'll see you later at Glee, okay?"

Rachel sat there a moment longer after he was gone. It wasn't like her to be purposely late to class, but she wasn't exactly in a hurry to sit through her history lecture. Instead, she took her time gathering her things and slowly walking the aisles of the room. She could have so easily given into Finn back there, but she knew it would have been a mistake. It would have given him false hope, betrayed whatever he had going on with Quinn and hurt Noah. All those things weren't worth it for Finn like they once were. She had other priorities, things that were finally more important to her than the tall boy of her dreams. Anything else but walking away would be a step back. She didn't want that for herself or him.

She should have been surprised to find Noah leaning on the wall outside the auditorium when she came out but she wasn't. He always had a way of finding her, and she _had_ been avoiding him for a while. His foot was planted firmly against the brick wall, his arms folded over his chest. "There you are. I saw Finn leave a few minutes ago. You're late for history."

"Whatever, "she shrugged, stopping to stand in front of him. "Don't you have biology?"

"Math, I think," he corrected her. "You know I never go to third hour."

"Do you think…" she trailed off before she looked up at him. "Can we go out to your truck and talk?"

After stopping off at her locker to stow her backpack, Rachel followed Noah into the parking lot. They were quiet as they walked, their hands occasionally brushing as their arms swung between them. He helped her up into the cab before jogging around to take his place on the driver's side. Noah turned his key backward to turn on the radio, allowing a soft Bruce Springsteen song to fill the silent air between them.

"I'm sorry that I was in there with Finn."

He shrugged. "It's none of my business, right?"

"It is your business, Noah, no matter what I've said or tried to pretend," she told him. "Sometimes I get caught up in my head and freak myself out before anything even happens. I think that's what I did with you. I built up this big back story that hadn't even happened yet, and it scared me. I care about you so much, Noah, and I saw you with that girl. I don't know, it killed me, and then Finn found me in the auditorium…nothing happened."

Ignoring most of her rant, he could only fixate on one little part. "What girl?"

"The Cheerio you were talking to earlier, I think she's a sophomore…?"

"You mean Heidi?" he laughed. "Rach, she's into San. She wanted her number."

Rachel stared at him for a moment to see if he was lying to her. "But she's with Britt," Rachel said once she had decided that he wasn't. She was also a moron for being jealous. "She can't just swoop in!"

"I know, and that's what I told her. I just didn't want Santana to get into it with her and risk her scholarship to Louisville. I squashed that shit right there because anyone moving in on Britt isn't kosher. She's my girl."

"Oh, Noah, I am so stupid."

"You got jealous, didn't you?" She didn't even bother lying as she nodded her head. "That's pretty fuckin' cute coming from you, Berry."

"Shut up, Puckerman," she glared at him.

He laughed and shook his head. "Don't call me that," he told her. "Anything other than Noah coming from your pretty little lips is just wrong, absolutely sinful."

"I've missed you," she admitted before moving across the seat to be closer to him. He wrapped his arm around her and tucked her under his shoulder. She snuggled into the little the nook, the place she felt she most belonged these days. "I hated not talking to you."

"So don't do it anymore," he replied. "Besides, it gave us both some time to think. Rach, there's some stuff about earlier this year I need to tell you before this goes anywhere."

She knew that he was going to tell her everything about Shelby, but she didn't want to hear the words ever come from him. "I know all about it, Noah, you don't have to explain," she told him softly. "It's over, I don't want to think about it. I know you're sorry; we can move on."

"How do you do that?"

"Do what?"

"Just forgive me," he answered. "No one except my ma has ever given me so many second chances."

"Because you've always been there for me and she never has," she admitted. It hurt to say that aloud. "I went to her when I found out, you know. I hated her for it. I just wanted her to stay out of my life. I mean, I guess I'm glad she came back because you got to see Beth, but I just wish she would stay away."

"I hate how she hurts you."

"I hate how she's hurt you too," Rachel replied. He'd never admit it but she knew that Shelby had hurt him. "But enough about her, she doesn't get to be part of this relationship, part of us. She's simply Beth's adoptive mother and my biological mother and nothing else."

He reached over and tilted her chin slightly. "I'm sorry I hurt you."

"You're my best friend, Noah."

"You're mine too," he smiled back. "And I think that's what we need to focus on right now. You were right the other night, even if I didn't want to admit it. I think we could both use this time to get to know each other as we are right now without all the other stuff from the past in the way."

She cocked her head to the side and grinned. "I don't know if you can handle being just friends."

"I can if you can," he teased before flexing his arms. "I know it'll be hard to resist the guns."

"Your arms are lovely, Noah," she agreed before patting his left bicep patronizingly. "So we'll be friends."

"Best friends," he corrected her, reaching out to shake her hand as if it were a pact. He pulled her into a hug then and kissed her cheek sloppily. She threw her head back and laughed prettily as he tickled her fingers into her sides.

He had a new plan of attack to this thing with Rachel. Operation Make Berry Mine was a go.


	8. Reading Into Every Word

So everyone thought they were dating.

It took Rachel two weeks and Puck two minutes to pick up on it, but within a few hours of them deciding to be just friends, the rumors were already circling McKinley like last year's bout of mono. He thought it was naïve of her not to think that far ahead. He had known from the moment he'd stuck up her after the breakup that it was going to happen. Now that it finally had, he wasn't about to stop it. That was part of his whole plan anyhow. He wanted her to be his; more surprisingly, however, he wanted to be hers.

"And I was thinking that you could go with me to the Autistic Children's Center," Rachel rambled as he followed her down the hallway toward English. Rachel had somehow convinced him over lunch that actually going to all of his afternoon classes today would be a good idea. Her latest suggestion had him seriously doubting Rachel's judgment. "They're doing a rendition of 'Victor Victoria' that I've been dying to see. My dad got us tickets."

Puck paused as Rachel stopped at her locker to exchange her Spanish book for her history one. "So you want me to spend my Saturday night hanging out with you and your two fathers seeing some musical?" he asked rhetorically. He smirked at her knowingly, happy that she was oblivious to what it sounded like. She wanted him to spend time with her parents. Guys like Puck didn't do that without getting something out of it, and girls like Rachel knew that. "I'll have to check with Ma to make sure she's not working, but it should be fine."

"Wait, really?" she asked, looking up at him in surprised wonder. She had counted on more of a fight.

"Of course, that's what friends do, right?" he asked before slipping his arm around her waist. She smiled up at him like he had cured cancer, and he felt like a fucking champ. He should have known that getting the key to getting into Berry's heart was giving her exactly what she wanted. Puck also knew her well enough to know that she also liked a challenge. The key with her was to pick your battles. "Maybe we could grab dinner afterward. The pizza place on Findlay just got vegan stuff."

"Oh! I've been wanted to try that place," she said when they finally stopped outside her classroom. Puck reluctantly drew his hand away and adjusted the strap on his backpack. A strand of dark hair had fallen across her cheek and it was taking literally everything he had not to tuck it behind her ear. "My fathers have plans already, so it'd be just the two of us."

It's then and only then that he allowed himself to reach out for her. He quietly pushed the hair away from her face and smiled his best smile. "Oh, the torture," he teased her lightly. She giggled in response and pressed playfully against his chest. The bell rang, and he suddenly hated school even more. "I guess I should get to class."

"I'll see you in glee?" she asked, earning a nod from him in response. Rachel leaned up on her toes and pressed a kiss to his cheek. "And pay attention, Noah."

Three hours and three classes later, Puck should have been shocked to realize he had actually taken notes but wasn't. He called it the Berry Influence, and its power had helped even Finn pass math last year without having to resort to cheating off Brittany. She was waiting for him outside the choir room when he got out of his government class. It was nice to see her looking so happy standing there talking with Brittany, the two girls giggling quietly while occasionally nodding or waving to their friends as they passed by. He watched her for a long moment before Rachel glanced up at him. Her grin widened even further when came over to join them.

"Hello, Noah, how was the rest of your classes?" she asked as she slipped her arms around his sturdy torso to hug him. Rachel had always been a hugger; it was just how she greeted people. Okay, so this internal logic seemed to fail but she couldn't look at him and not hug him. The boy was gorgeous.

"Hey, babe," he told her before pressing a kiss to the side of her head. "I only missed two on my English quiz, so I guess your good influence is rubbing off on me."

Brittany looked at Rachel with concern. "Are you sick? Is it contagious?"

While Rachel seemed briefly confused, Puck spoke Britt Britt fluently. "It just means that she got to me to study, Britt," he explained to her carefully.

"Oh, okay!" she beamed. "Maybe Rachel could rub off on me then. Although I don't think she'd like it if someone else rubbed me…."

"Uh, right, we should sit down," Rachel interrupted her.

Brittany shrugged and bounced into the choir room ahead of them. Rachel glared at Puck, who was muffing laughter into her shoulder. She gently shrugged him off before grabbing him by the wrist to drag him into the room behind her. The two of them took their now usual seats by Brittany. Puck hooked his ankle around her chair and pulled her close to him so that he wouldn't have to stretch his arm so far. Rachel turned into him immediately so she could fill him in on the rest of her day.

The two of them seemed not to notice the conversation going on around them. "So I guess it's official," Kurt clapped happily. "Puckleberry is back on!"

"Great, Britt is gonna go on about that forever," Santana said as she rolled her eyes. It was a sudden turn of events for both of them considering where they were weeks ago. However, Kurt had truly always been a fan of Puckleberry and he didn't want to see his best friend as sad as she had been since the breakup. And Santana was a fan of anything that made Brittany happy, so the two of them were going to be supportive no matter their initial feelings. "You just know she's going to have Yentl on her webshow."

"I think it's sweet," Blaine mused while patting Kurt's hand affectionately. "They're happy."

"Yeah, Blaine's right. We're their friends, we should be supportive," Mercedes added.

"Wait, do we even know that they're actually dating?" Mike asked. Tina rolled her eyes in his direction. "Look, dude's my best friend and he's never said anything to me about making it official. Don't you think Rachel would make them matching shirts or decorate his locker or something?"

"Chang has a point," Santana acknowledged. "Berry's not exactly subtle."

Tina looked at them for a long moment. "Maybe it's different with Puck," she suggested. "With Finn, she was always looking over her shoulder, waiting for the other shoe to drop. C'mon, guys, we all knew that he was going to go back to Quinn eventually. They always end up together."

"And weirdly, Puck ends up chasing after Rachel," Sam realized aloud. "When did that happen?"

"Oh, Sam," Kurt laughed as they all looked over at their friends, "that's been happening for years."

Meanwhile, not everyone was thrilled about the blossoming friendship. Quinn couldn't help buut notice the way that Finn was staring daggers at his best friend and his ex-girlfriend. She didn't want to be jealous of the way Finn was looking at Rachel but it was pretty much engrained at her at this point. It wasn't to say that she hadn't done this to herself. She knew that if she hadn't made those mistakes sophomore year, there was a good chance that she would have never lost Finn in the first place. He had loved her, always loved her, and even with Rachel Berry in the picture, nothing had ever really changed that.

"They look happy together, don't they?" she asked quietly. The two of them were on the back row, sort of separated from the others. "He relaxes her."

"And she makes him more serious," he acknowledged. "I can't believe she's with him."

Quinn reached down and touched his wrist. "I'm sure she thinks the same thing about us," she replied. Quinn had some of those moments herself. "Finn, hey, can you look at me for a minute?" He was silent as he pulled his gaze away from their friends and to her. His eyes softened when they met hers, and she couldn't help but smile that certain smile she seemed to reserve for only him. "People look at us and can't believe that we've forgiven each other after everything. They deserve to have people say the same thing about them. I don't expect it to change overnight, but you have to let it go. You have to let her go. Please, Finn, just let her go."

He reached for her hand and entwined their fingers together. "I'm trying, Quinn."

Finn wasn't the only one unhappy about the shifting chemistry in the group. Mr. Schuester had seen enough combinations over the years with this group to know that Rachel and Puck were about to happen again. And while he ordinarily would have wanted whatever was going to be best for the group, right now, he needed to know that Finn and Rachel could sing together without interference from Quinn or Puck. He needed to know that they could check the drama at the door and get the job done.

"Rachel, Finn, I would like you two to stay late today to work on your solos."

"I have plans with Q, Mr. Schue," Finn replied.

Quinn looked at her teacher with determined eyes. She knew what he was doing and he knew that she knew. "It's fine, Finn," she said softly, making sure to rest her hand on his knee. "You need to rehearse."

"Noah brought me to school today."

"I'm sure that Finn would be happy to give you a ride," the teacher answered.

Puck didn't like how the guy was interfering in their business. What gave him the right? Then again, he was always sticking his nose where it didn't belong. It was how they ended up with those stupid assignments that only half of them ever seemed to do anyhow. "I'll wait for you, Rach," he told her without tearing his eyes away from their teacher. "I'm sure you guys could use some feedback."

Schue was about to say something when Rachel turned and gazed up at him like he'd just lassoed the moon. "That would amazing, Noah, thank you!" She waited a beat before looking at her teacher. "And you know, about that solo, I was thinking we could make it a quartet. Both Noah and Quinn have beautiful voices, and I think the four of us work harmoniously on a song."

"Hey, that's not a bad idea," Artie mused from the front row, catching on before the others. "We haven't used Quinn in a solo all year. She'd be great on the second verse."

"Yeah, and the way Puck gets kind of throaty could be great on the bridge," Mike added.

"So we should all four stay and practice then," Quinn said, exchanging a smile with Rachel. She was really glad the two of them were back to fighting on the same side of the law. "I mean, since rehearsal is so important."

Rachel nodded. "I think it'd be a perfect time to work on the new arrangement."

"Hold up, I haven't agreed to this…"

Finn looked up at him innocently. "It's our song and our club, seems like we should get a say for once," he said. "I think it's a good idea. We always sound better when we layer the sound. Besides, I'd kinda like to sing with Quinn since this is the last time we'll all be together."

"Puck, you've been decidedly quiet," Schuester spoke up.

"Whatever Rach wants me to do," he shrugged lazily. "It's her call." He ignored the muttered comments he heard about being whipped before he looked back up at the teacher daringly. "Besides, you know how well we sound together or have you forgotten? I know you've got a hard on for a good Finchel solo but I think it's time for Puckleberry to take the stage again."

"Noah," Rachel warned lowly.

"What, Rach? It's clear that he's worried about Q and me upsetting his perfect little duo. I've sat through this for three years but enough is enough. Schue, it's none of your damn business who Berry's hookin' up with," he spat. "And for the record, we're just dating. We're not together. We're friends. Finn is with Quinn but so what? The two of them can sing to each other and be grown up about it. The thing is, the thing you're not seeing, is that maybe they don't want to sing to each other. Maybe she wants to sing to me, maybe he wants to sing to Quinn. Either way, we get to choose. You're the choir director, but we're the singers. We got you to New York just as much as you got us there. For once, why don't you listen to what we want?"

They were all shocked that it took Puck's soliloquy to finally get Mr. Schuester to hear what they were saying. There was no doubt that he was an amazing teacher, and he had definitely taken them further than any of them had ever imagined. However, he did have a way of living vicariously through Finn and pushing his own agenda. Puck had been on the sidelines waiting for his moment in the spotlight, just like they all had. Their time together was drawing to a close, and they had to take control of their own destinies if they wanted to shine in New York. It might have not been handled in the right way, but Puck was just happy they were all getting their way in the end. And Rachel, she was happy that she going to get to sing with Noah because she knew that some things were inevitable.

They definitely weren't just friends.


	9. Collect Your Records

Puck was fairly used to spending Friday nights in a girl's bedroom, but it usually looked a lot different than this. There were no beer bottles scattered around the floor, no dimmed lights in a vain attempt to set the mood, no kisses that would inevitably lead to more. Instead, he was surrounded by a stack of CDs and sheet music while Rachel's favorite playlist played on her iPod. His guitar was in his lap instead of her, while she was clutching a pink legal pad rather than his hands (or his thighs or you know, something else that'd make him a little happier).

"Noah, we have to find a song," she told him. She was insistent that they find another song to sing together. Sure, they'd sort of agree to sing another duet but Rachel wasn't sold on it being the right one. And since Rachel thought it was important, Puck had to think it was important or she would pout. He had learned over the past three years that no one benefited or won when Rachel Berry pouted. "The mood isn't right. I've tried everything from my usual repertoire."

"Babe, we've been at this for hours."

"And we still haven't found the right song," she reminded him. She leaned across the bed to press her iPod onto the next song. "Jack Johnson, Eric Clapton, The Eagles…maybe something more in the rock genre? That's your best bet most of the time, isn't it? It's definitely not something I do a lot outside the confines of big group numbers, but I think we could sound pretty great."

Puck tilted his head for a moment before shaking it in decline. "Actually, the best we've ever sounded together was when we did that Lady A song last year. We never really do any country in Glee, so it'd definitely be unexpected," he pointed out. "Plus, there are a ton of killer duets that we could totally kickass on. A lot of the more modern stuff has enough pop to it that it still fits in with the rest of the set list."

Her eyes were wide as she grinned at him as though she was awestruck. "Noah, you're a genius!" she cried, clapping happily. "We've already tackled Lady Antebellum, and I'm not a fan of repeat performances. Besides, that duet was under less than ideal circumstances, so I suggest that we continued to explore other artists of our caliber. Do you have any recommendations?"

He shook his head, forever wondering how many times she would use all those words when only a few would do. "Why don't we just listen to the radio for awhile and see what comes up? I get my best ideas when I'm driving around in my truck, we could go for a ride."

Rachel lifted her left shoulder in a seemingly apathetic shrug but he knew her well enough to see through it. She loved riding shotgun in his truck and loved having her there. She always looked so tiny in his huge truck, a pristine contrast to his disgusting vehicle. "We're not going to go anywhere, are we? I don't really feel like getting redressed."

Puck looked down at her fitted yoga pants and soft yellow off-the-shoulder top. "Yeah, that," he said, waving his hand suggestively, "stay with that."

Ten minutes later, they were tucked into the cab of his truck, the heater blasting on his face as they headed toward the edge of town. The lake had kind of become their place. She had turned the radio on as soon as he had pulled the driveway but had twisted the volume knob so that it was way down low. He watched her hum along to some old Johnny Cash song absently while the blur of streetlights washed over her face. She was beautiful when she was quiet like this, lost in her head and in a song. Then again, he thought she was beautiful all the time. She was his best friend, but in that moment, he knew that he was in love with her.

"Rach…"

"Wait, Noah, this is it!"

Rachel leapt for the radio and turned it up loud enough that the speaker in the door bounced against his left calf. He knew as soon as he heard it that she was right. This was the song. This was the perfect song that said everything they needed to say to say to capture an audience and hold the judges under their spell. This was the song that said everything he had been feeling about her for so long and no plan could effectively explain it to her as these few verses. This was the answer he had been looking for.

He drove the rest of the way to lake without singing along. Instead, he just enjoyed the sound of her voice on the female parts and imagined his intertwining with hers on the male counterpart in front of a packed house and all of their friends. And as he imagined that, as he tried to take it all in, he saw only her face in a sea of other faces and knew that's exactly how it would be. The song changed to something else by the time he pulled to a stop in the remote part of a gravel lot beneath a lone amber light. He killed the engine and effectively the radio.

"Rach, I need to tell you something."

"Is it about the song? Do you not like it? We can figure else out."

"No, it's not about the song," he replied. "The song is perfect. You're perfect. This, here with you, it's perfect. I love the song, Rach, because it says all the things I've forgotten for so long. Or the things I wanted to forget but never really did. I love the song because it's us and I love it because I love you. I don't just want to be your friend anymore. I want to be with you."

Rachel was completely still for a full two minutes before she opened and closed her mouth three times in silence. Those words were far from typical for Puck but the feelings were all there. The things she had seen staring back at her for so long, the way he was a friend to her, she had known this all along.

"Noah."

"Rachel, I know everything you want to say. I know that you have every reason to doubt me and that we have a lot to deal with once we get outside of this truck. I also know that you feel the same despite the fact that you really don't want to. I know that I am going to have to tell my best friend that I love the girl he wanted to marry and deal with my ma going on and on about me finally finding a nice Jewish girl. I know all of this and I know it's a train wreck waiting to happen and I know that I don't care. I just love you."

"Why, aren't we big no the confessions today?"

Her slow smile gave him the permission he needed to wrap his arms around her and pull him against her. "You are such a surprise, Rachel Berry."

"Did you really think I'd refuse an offer like that?"

"I didn't really think about it much past the moment," he confessed. "I just knew that I had to say it before I lost the courage. I've basically said it a million times in my mind, and this is the only time it actually came out like I wanted."

She nestled her head into his chest as he laid a kiss atop her head. "It was perfect."

"Is there anything else you want to say?"

"Fishing, are we, Noah?"

"Damn straight," he chuckled. "I just laid it out there, and you haven't said more than a sentence at a time since. It's like we've reversed roles."

"Unsettling, isn't it?" she teased him. "It's always so maddening when I talk for ten minutes straight, only to have you offer up two words in response. And now that you're the one who has said everything first, you want to regain control. You think that if I give you what you want, we'll slip back into our proper roles. I'm not sure that I like that."

"But?"

"And yet, I just gave you exactly what you wanted because that is who we are, Noah," she smiled up at him. "You are quiet and strong. I am bold and resilient. We're complimentary in nearly every way, and we don't make any apologies for taking what we want in the best and the worst of circumstances. I've always known that I wanted New York, and now, I know that I want New York with you."

"And?"

"And I love you, you moron," she laughed, elbowing him in the ribs. He laughed for a moment before leaning down to claim her mouth. It was only a moment but it was the best moment of his life. Rachel finally understood what Finn meant when he talked about fireworks.

Less than twenty-four hours later, Rachel and Puck came into the choir room with a duet that was perfected during third period and enough sheet music to satisfy the entire band. "Mr. Schue, if you don't mind, this is something that Rach and I was to try out. We've worked on it a little," Puck explained as he strapped his guitar across his chest.

"For your consideration," Rachel said with a small bow before she nodded toward Puck. "One, two, three, four…"

Puck leaned into the microphone. "We didn't care if people stared. We'd make out in a crowd somewhere. Somebody'd tell us to get a room. It's hard to believe that was me and you. Now we keep saying that we're okay, but I don't want to settle for good, not great. I miss the way that it felt back then, I wanna feel that way again."

The two of them turned to look at each other. "Been so long that you'd forget the way I used to kiss your neck," he sang to her. Rachel answered him back in song. "Remind me, remind me."

"So on fire, so in love, way back when we couldn't get enough," he returned as she echoed, "Remind me, remind me."

"Remember the airport dropping me off. We were kissing goodbye and we couldn't stop," Rachel sang. Puck grinned as he layered his line below hers, "I felt bad 'cause you missed your flight," before they belnded back together for "But that menat we had one more night."

"Do you remember how it used to be? We'd turn out the lights and we didn't sleep."

Puck's breath caught as he looked at her. "Remind me, baby, remind me."

"Oh, so on fire, so in love, "she sang back to him as they walked toward each other. He stopped strumming his guitar to reach out for her hands. "That look in your eyes that I miss so much."

Just like he had imagined it in his head, everything but Rachel faded away. "I wanna feel that way."

"Yeah, I wanna hold you close," she sang to him.

"Oh, if you still love me," they harmonized in unison. "Don't just assume I know."

Rachel stepped away and swayed her hips slightly. "Do you remember the way it felt?"

"You mean back when we couldn't control ourselves?"

"Remind me," Rachel implored in song. Puck volleyed back, "Yeah, remind me."

"All those things you used to do that made me fall in love with you," she wailed. "Remind me oh baby, remind me."

Puck fingered the hem of her shirt as he gazed down at her. "Yeah, you'd wake up in my old t-shirt. All those mornings I was late for work. Remind me…."

Puck was kind of surprised at how quiet the room was once the song was over. He looked around at his friends, waiting for the applause that would never come. Mr. Schuester was smiling like the cat who'd stolen the cream, so it was safe to say that the song was in for Nationals. Finn and Quinn both looked like someone had kicked them in the face. Everyone else was just oddly quiet.

"Thank God," Blaine sighed. "They finally figured it out."

"Who had this week in the pool?" Artie asked as he pulled a notebook out of his backpack.

"I think I did," Santana said, rubbing her hands greedily. "What do I get?"

"Last count was $200," Mercedes said as she bumped her fist against the Latina's. "Couldn"t you guys hold out for two more days?"

"You guys were betting on us?" Rachel asked, aghast. "How could you do that?"

"Yeah," Puck added. "You should have totally cut me in."

"Noah!"

"I'm so excited!" came Brittany suddenly as she jumped over Tina in the front row so she could wrap Rachel and Puck in her arms. "Puckleberry is back on!"

Rachel patted her back awkwardly while Puck just laughed. He loved that girl. However, he stopped when he saw Quinn. More accurately, he saw Quinn staring up at Finn. "Finn, man…"

"Rach, can I talk to you for a minute?" he asked, completely ignoring Puck. "In the hall."

"Uh, sure," she replied softly before looking at Puck apologetically.

"Quinn, are you okay?" Sam asked out of nowhere. Puck slid his eyes back to the blonde boy and then to the mother of his child. "Quinn?"

"Hey, Q," Puck said softly as he knelt in front of her. "Let's go talk."

Puck never knew what Rachel and Finn talked about in the hall because he didn't ask her. He only knew that Quinn told him that she was in love with Finn and she was scared that she was going to lose him. Puck admitted he thought about that all the time because Finn and Rachel had been something special. "Just like we were, Quinn," he told her with a soft smile. "But what Finn and Rachel don't have, what we didn't have, is a future. You once told me the entire future you knew you'd have with Finn Hudson. I can see the same thing for Rach and me in New York. So don't worry, we're not going to lose them. She is the only place I've ever belonged."

When Rachel came back in the room with a smile on her face, Finn didn't seem to be glaring him down. He took that as a small victory, one that became bigger when her tiny little hand slipped into his. Puck looked over at Quinn, who was tucked neatly under Finn's arm. It wasn't perfect yet, but it looked like they were finally all on their way there.


	10. Change Your Number

If life was a fairytale, everything would have been perfect after that. But life wasn't and this wasn't any different. As okay with it as Finn tried to be, he still had these moments where he looked at Puck with nothing but anger and hurt in his chocolate eyes. Puck tried to focus on Rachel, tried to focus on being happy, but he couldn't get past that look. He couldn't get past how hurt Quinn looked when she caught Finn starting at Rachel and Puck. He knew that his new girlfriends had made amends with her former flame, and now it was his turn to make things right with his best friend.

"Come on, man, let's go get a slushie," Puck announced one morning when he had pulled his truck to the edge of the Hummels' driveway, blocking Finn's car so that he couldn't get out. The tall quarterback looked at him and then his car for a moment before shrugging and throwing himself into the passenger side of Puck's vehicle. "I feel like we haven't hung out in a while."

"We haven't," Finn agreed as he looked at the trees passing by in a blur. "Kinda hard to do when you're always screwing me over."

"Dude, you know it wasn't like that," Puck replied defensively. Except, it was like that, at least sometimes, and Puck knew he could never be sorry enough for all the things he had done to his best friend. "Besides, you know how I sorry I am about everything that happened before. I thought you had forgiven me."

Finn twisted sideways in his seat to look over at him. "I did, doesn't make it any easier to see you with her though. Just reminds me of all the things you did, of all the times you picked some chick over me and what that did to us, man. I know it's not cool for guys to be open or whatever, but that's just how it feels."

Puck thought for a moment. "I can see that," he admitted and then "I really am sorry, you know. Not just for Quinn and Rachel before but about this time. I know it was over with you guys but I'm still sorry. The last thing I want to do is hurt you, dude, you have to know that. It might not seem like it but there's something about her…I just can't help it."

A small chuckle escaped past Finn's pursed lips. "Yeah, I get that," Finn grinned, and Puck knew that his best friend was likely the only other guy on the planet who truly did understand. They had both been enchanted by the spell of Rachel Berry and Quinn Fabray. Sure, they'd taken turns over the years, but it always seemed like one or the other was entangled with those two girls. "I missed you, dude."

"Hey, me too," Puck said seriously, reaching across the bench seat to bump his fist to Finn's. He pulled the truck into the parking spot and jumped out, not bothering to wait until Finn caught up. He would soon enough, he always did. Wherever Puck ended up, he knew that Finn would never be too far behind. They might take turns leading sometimes, but even more than Rachel and Quinn, Puck had a bond with Finn that nothing – not even two beautiful girls – could ever really break. "Get two, I'm paying. I'm gonna go grab us some burritos."

The emotional honesty had been a little heavy, and Puck was glad that they were able to leave that behind when they jumped back in the truck to head to McKinley. They talked about the upcoming baseball game and Nationals and the party that Mercedes was supposed to be throwing that weekend while her parents were out of town. They made plans to hang out on Friday night like they used to, just pizza and beer and video games while Puck watched his sister and his mom worked the late shift at the hospital. It was like nothing had changed by the time they had pulled into the high school parking lot.

"Alright, dude, I'll catch up with you at lunch," Finn called as he headed toward the front of the school. He threw a smile Rachel's way as he passed her on his way to where Quinn was waiting for him. "Hey, Rach, I like your sweater!"

He didn't even wait for her response as he bounded happily toward the pretty blonde leaning against the school's brick exterior. Rachel rubbed her arms down the sleeve of her dark green sweater. She smiled softly and shook her head a little while waiting for Puck to catch up with her. "Are you boys playing nice?"

"We're friends again," Puck revealed with the happiest smile Rachel had seen in quite awhile. "We talked, I bought him a slushie, all is forgiven. We're going to hang out on Friday, so you'll have to make plans with Kurt and the girls or something."

"Just like that?"

"Babe, we're guys," he reminded her. There were some things Rachel would never understand, and boys bonding over junk food was one of them. "Finn and me, we're good. He's moving on with Quinn. She's happy with him. We're together. Things are finally good again."

"And we're going to win Nationals," she added as she slid her hand into his. His fingers curled around hers as he led her into the lobby of the school and down the hallway toward their lockers.

Puck shook his head at her single-mindedness. Always focused, that was his girl. "And we're going to kill it at Nationals," he corrected her. "Did you ever think this is how you'd end your time at McKinley?"

Rachel leaned back against her locker. "No, of course not," she had to laugh. "I spent most of my first two years here virtually alone, covered in high fructose corn syrup of varying shades. I had no friends, nothing that really mattered to me other than singing. But you guys, I never could have counted on all of you. I hoped for it to happen, to make friends and fall in love, but I never expected it to happen."

"Would you change anything?"

"Not a single thing," she mused with a wide smile. "If I did, I wouldn't be standing here with you. We wouldn't be the people that we are now. We all made a lot of mistakes but look where that brought us, Noah. It gave you Beth and brought Blaine and Sam into our lives and allowed Brittany and Santana to fall in love. It made Kurt and Tina both be honest about who they were, gave Mike the courage to dance and sing, and showed the world what a talent Mercedes is. It showed everyone that Quinn wasn't just some mindless cheerleader and that Finn had more to him than a decent throwing arm. Most of all, it brought you to me. Given the chance, I'd do all of it all over again as long as I got to end up right here in this moment with you."

He might not have had the words to put things like she did, but Puck could show her how he felt with a kiss. He leaned forward, resting his forehead to hers, and kissed her softly and sweetly. "I love you."

"Love you," she replied in a soft whisper before pulling back.

Somewhere down the hallway, Quinn was talking idly about her French test when she noticed Finn was staring over at Rachel and Puck. "Finn, have you been listening to anything I've said?"

"Huh?" he asked, broken out of his haze. He looked down at the petite blonde, hands fisted on her narrow hips. He smiled down at her and reached over to cover her hand gently. "Sorry, Quinn, I was just thinking."

"About Rachel and Puck making out?"

"No," he answered honestly, shaking his head. "I was just thinking about how weird life is."

"Finn," she said insistently. She grabbed his wrist and pulled him into the nearby empty math classroom. "Look, I don't know what's going on with you or what Puck said this morning, but you have to let it go. Please, Finn, just let both of them go. They're happy, they're together. You and I have a second – well, a third – chance to really make this work. And I so want it to work, Finn, I want the future with you that I always imagined. Please, I love you."

He couldn't help but smile at her as he reached for her hand. "Quinn, you're the only one I want to be with now," he promised. He led her hand and pressed it over his racing heart. "When I was watching them back there, I wasn't thinking about how I was angry or jealous. I was thinking about how happy I was for them. I was thinking how I was glad that you were giving me another chance and that we were finally in a place where we could really try again without all of that other stuff in the way. I've never been good with words, but with you, I always really good with three. I love you, Quinn. That's all there is."

She leaned up on her toes and kissed him soundly. "That's all I need, that's all I want."

"Good because I want all those things you want. I want to follow you to Yale so you can make all those dreams come true, and then I want to come back to Lima so that we can get married and start the family we used to talk about."

"I want that too," she promised. "And if you don't want to go to New Haven, we can stay here. I got accepted at Ohio State. I don't need to go to Connecticut to get what I want."

"Yes, we do," he corrected her. He wasn't sure how it was all going to work but he trusted enough in fate that it would. "We'll figure it out later, but right now, you need to know how I proud of you I am and how much I can't wait for our lives to begin."

"Why wait?" she questioned him with a kiss. "It can start whenever we say."

"Because for right now, at least for a couple more months, I want to just enjoy being a kid," he grinned. The bell rang in the hallway, and Finn grabbed her hand to pull her back out to their lockers for their books. "Oh, by the way, you're gonna have to hang out with Britt and San on Friday or something because I'm having a guys' night at Puck's."

"Aw, a little man date!" Quinn teased. "That's sweet."

"Nothing about dudes hanging out is sweet, Q," Puck argued as he fell in step next to them.

"Yes, Noah has made sure that I understood under no certain terms that it was strictly going to be beer, pizza and blowing things up," Rachel announced from the other side of her boyfriend. "There will be no bonding of any kind, none whatsoever."

Finn and Puck bumped fists over Quinn's head. "That's right, just a little COD and Bud," Finn told the girls. "You two should hang out too or something."

"We could have a sleepover," Quinn pondered, looking over at Rachel. A mischievous glint sparkled in her eyes. "My house will be empty with my parents out of town."

"Your parents are out of town?" the guys asked in unison, Finn thinking of the alone time they could have in the hot tub and Puck thinking about the party they could throw.

Quinn nodded innocently. "What do you say, Rachel? Do you want to keep me company in my big bed?"

Puck looked at the blonde to his left and then at the brunette on his right. "Say yes, Rach," he begged. "Please say yes."

"You do know that you're not invited, Noah, right?" she asked with a saucy wink. "I'd love to spend some time alone with you, Quinn."

"Glad that's settled," Quinn giggled.

"You girls should do that," Puck agreed. They all knew what he was thinking. "And if you happen to get lonely, you could always give us a call…"

"Or at least send pictures," Finn said, "you know, if anything interesting happens."

Quinn rounded Puck and looped her arm through Rachel's when they got to their first period class. "What happens at a sleepover, stays at the sleepover," Quinn taunted them. "A girl needs her privacy."

With that, the two girls smiled and turned on their heels to escape into their classroom. "Dude, we're so dead if they're friends," Finn said worriedly as he watched the girls bend their heads together and whisper.

"They know all of our secrets, man," Puck realized. "We're so dead…but what a way to go."

"Yeah, man," Finn agreed with a nod. He reached over and bumped his fist to Puck's again as they headed toward the gym. "No one else I'd rather go down with, I guess."

"Me neither, man, me neither."

And like that, over the course of a single hour, the four of them were friends again – or maybe really for the first time ever.


	11. Somebody That I Used to Know

Friday night turned into a few weeks turned into the rest of the year. By the time graduation rolled around, Finn and Quinn's third try at a relationship had six solid weeks under its belt and Puck was proud of the two months he had spent as Rachel Berry's boyfriend. The four of them were actually friends, _best friends_, in a way that Rachel could have never hoped for on the first day of her freshman year of high school. She had the head cheerleader as her best friend, the Most Athletic senior as her boyfriend, a prominent National Show Choir trophy at home on her bookcase and a pair of plane tickets that would take her and Noah away to New York City three weeks after they crossed the stage at McKinley.

Their performance had been flawless really. Kurt's solo had brought the house down from the very beginning, and things had only gotten better from there. A powerful group number had given way to the emotional duet she had perfected with Noah over many days of strict practice (that was rewarded with some very positive reinforcement on both their parts). When the confetti had fallen and she had been handed the much-coveted MVP trophy, Rachel had looked at her friends and the stage and known that she had left everything out there. She had done everything she had wanted to do during her time in high school, and now she was ready to say goodbye.

Graduation passed by in a blur. Quinn's valedictorian speech was the right mix of nostalgic and inspirational, not leaving a dry eye among the women filling the packed bleachers on a perfect May afternoon. They had all posed for photographs afterward in different combinations, her with Blaine and Kurt, Puck tucked between Mike and Sam. There was one of Quinn perched on Artie's knee and Brittany and Finn making faces at Carole behind the camera. There were shots of Quinn resting her head on Finn's shoulder while they talked to Santana and Rachel laughing at something Puck and Tina had just said. They were these moments in time frozen in matching black and pewter frames that now lined the bay window in her New York loft. Puck picked up the one of them with Quinn and Finn at least once a day. He never really said it, but she knew that he missed them.

It wasn't like they were out of touch. In fact, it was quite the opposite. One or the other of them was constantly texting Finn between classes or catching up with Quinn while waiting for the subway to come. They did their best to visit a lot that first year, and when that didn't work out, there were always breaks in Lima for them to catch up. And it wasn't just the girls that were the friends and then the guys. Puck talked to Quinn quite regularly, and the two of them had even gone to see Beth alone while they were home for the winter break. Finn and Rachel liked to watch some show that Puck and Quinn couldn't bother to be interested in, so they had a dedicated hour of quality phone time every Thursday night.

"Hey, Rach, can I ask you something?" Finn said one night while their show was on a commercial break. She could picture him in New Haven alone in the tiny little apartment he had near Quinn's dorm. The two of them were going to get a bigger place together the next year. "Do you think we're still the same as we were?"

Rachel smiled at his innocent question. It was so like Finn to think of things in such simple terms. "No, not really, Finn," she told him honestly. "A lot of times I think that I'm just somebody that I used to know. I didn't expect it all to end up like this, you know. It wasn't part of my plan. Don't get me wrong, I'm very happy with Noah and my life in New York, but it's not at all what I thought it would be when I thought about my future."

"Yeah, I think stuff is like that with Quinn and me," he agreed. She could hear the hesitation in his voice and knew that he was likely confused. Deep conversations tended to do that to him, and she truly hoped he never lost that part of his gigantically good heart. "I still think we'll have a lot of that stuff though, the kids and the house and stuff in Lima. She still wants to go home again someday. I like the idea of that, I belong in Ohio."

That had always been a fundamental difference between them, and Rachel was happy that he had found someone who loved that part of Finn. "I'm glad you guys are happy together, Finn. I know it hasn't always been easy with us, with all of us, but we had to go through all of that for this to work now."

"Alright, enough talking," Finn chuckled. "The show is back on. Now, do you think…"

Finn plugged his phone into the charger after the credits had rolled and he had ended his call with Rachel. He went into his bedroom where Quinn was spread out with her English notes and a stack of books she had been reading all semester. "How's Rachel?" she asked from behind her glasses. Her blonde hair was longer than it had been senior year, more like it had been when they'd first gotten together. "Puck driving her nuts yet?"

"They're happy, just like us," he smiled as he tossed his dirty clothes into a plastic laundry basket in the corner and pulled on a pair of sweats. He leaned down and kissed Quinn briefly before disappearing into the bathroom to brush his teeth. "Do you have to work much longer?"

"No, I think my brain is fried for tonight," she replied. "I talked to Puck earlier too, by the way. Shelby asked if we wanted to come out over Spring Break to see Beth hunt Easter eggs. I think we're going to go. He's going to invite Rach, I was hoping that you'd come with us too."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah," she smiled shyly. "You're both my family now. I want her to know you. You were the first guy who ever really loved her, you know."

"Her and her mommy," Finn said softly as he came back into the bedroom. Her books were stacked on the floor now, her glasses stowed away on the nightstand. "I would love to go with you."

"You know I can't wait until we live together all the time, right?" she asked rhetorically as he slid into his side of the bed. She rolled over and tucked her head into his chest, his arm finding her way around her back. "I hate sleeping without you and it's really inconvenient having half my stuff in the dorm."

Finn reached over and flicked off the lamp before pressing a kiss into her silky hair. "Only a few more months," he reminded her. They had initially thought about staying there for the summer, but Finn really wanted to go back to Ohio to spend time with Kurt and their parents. Quinn was going to come with him on the condition that they sublet the Jones' house while they went on tour with Mercedes for the summer. "Ready to sleep now?"

"Yes, please," she yawned, snuggling further into the crook of his arm. "Love you, Finn."

"I love you, too, Q."

A few hours away in New York, Puck was just getting home from the bar. He had played the earlier set tonight so he could spend time with Rachel. His guitar case thudded on their wooden floor loudly, but she didn't seem to care as she came racing into the kitchen to meet him. He lifted her easily off the floor and buried his nose in her hair. "Happy to see me, babe?"

"Always," she smiled before grabbing his wrist and pulling him over to the kitchen island to feed him. He had somehow gotten used to Rachel's weird vegan food, especially when he figured out that barbecue and marinara sauces could cover up a lot of the strange tastes. Besides, there was always food he could steal at the bar between shifts singing or tending.

"How's Finn?"

"Good, the show was great," she grinned. "Quinn's going to ask him about going to see Beth."

"I'm so glad you agreed to see your mom."

"To see Shelby," she corrected him. "Besides, I haven't seen Beth in way too long. My dads are also glad that I am coming home since they weren't able to make it to New York for Passover."

"Yeah, Ma and Sarah have both been on me about stuff," he admitted. "That all seems to go away when I show up with you on my arm. I hope Ma makes brisket, you have no idea how much I miss meat."

Rachel laughed as he spooned a big bite of squash into his mouth. "Yeah, you're going to have to share that one with Finn."

"Duh, babe, Finn always comes over for brisket night," he reminded her. A minute later his phone was ringing. He pulled it out of his pocket and chuckled softly. "What's up Q?"

"Your best friend is snoring," she muttered fondly. "I tried to roll him over but he won't stop. Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that Finn is going to come with us. I assume that Rachel's in?"

"Yeah, sure thing," he promised. "I was thinking before that maybe we could go get her a present or something, just the two of us. Shelby said she's really into that Sofia Princess chick."

"Sofia the First, right," Quinn remembered. "Sounds good, we'll work on the details when we get home."

"Sounds good, Q, you should try to get some sleep," he said as he looked over at where Rachel was watching him. "Just put a pillow over his face until he wakes up. It always worked when we were kids."

"I am not smothering my boyfriend, Puck!"

"Your loss," he deadpanned. "Bye, Quinn!"

He laughed to himself before he threw his phone back on the counter. He scarfed down the rest of his food in a few bites and then loaded the dirty plate into the dishwasher. After making sure that his guitar was out of the way, he slid behind Rachel and wrapped her arms around her tiny waist. "You look exhausted, babe, you want to go to bed?"

"Yeah, I was just waiting up for you anyhow."

"I like coming home to you," he murmured as he led her down the hall. Neither of them bothered with pajamas as they pulled away the layers until he was clad in only his boxers and her in her panties and a thin camisole. She settled on the right side of the bed while he took out his contacts in front of the mirror.

Rachel finished rubbing in her hand lotion while Puck rearranged the pillows in the same certain way that he did every night. "You know, Finn asked me a funny question."

"Oh, yeah, what did Finnessa have to say this time?"

"He asked if I thought we were all the same people."

"What did you say?"

"I said that sometimes I feel like somebody that I used to know. What do you think?"

He thought for a moment before tucking an arm behind his head. "I think that there are a lot of things that are different, but at the root of it, we're still the same people we always were. Quinn's always going to need to be at the top. She thrives on being respected and thought of as pretty. She's sweet and faithful and a little bit twisted. Even with all the really great stuff that has changed about her, that's still her essence."

"And Finn, dude, he's still so innocent. He is guillible and unconditionally kind and just accepts people for who they are. He'll forgive me anything, even if I don't deserve it. He's always been like that, even when neither of us thought that he was," Puck went on. "And you, babe, you need to be the best. Not that you aren't, but you need people to know it too. You're driven, determined, so talented. But beneath all that, there's always that tiny sliver of hesitation. I think you don't want to lose it either because you know it makes you want to be better."

"And you?"

"And me, hell, I don't know," he chuckled. "I'm still trying to be anything but like my father. I build up walls, I pout when things don't go my way. I'm cocky and stubborn. We're all four all of these things, but now, that's not all that we are. So, yeah, maybe I'm just somebody that I used to know, but I'm also so much more. You guys probably more than anyone helped me get there. I like who I am now, but I'm glad that I'm still a little bit the same."

"Me too," she said before bussing him on the cheek. "Now, sleep, I have an early class. Love you, Noah."

"I love you too, Rachel."

_Fin._

* * *

**_Author's Note: Big thank you to everyone who has read this story. I hope you will check out the other series I just started, "Not Like Us." _**


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